Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
Today, I tried to walk past chuds fighting in the street so I could catch my bus, except that when the police were rounding everyone up, I was mistakenly collared as well. To make it worse, some of the chuds claimed I threw the first punch. I just wanted to catch my bus. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You don't choose Thug Life, Thug Life chooses you.
Dave_Davington 34
Don't lose hope yet. I hear Michael Jackson found a way to not look like a criminal. ...Alright, I'll show myself out.
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Comments (25)
Dave_Davington 34
Don't lose hope yet. I hear Michael Jackson found a way to not look like a criminal. ...Alright, I'll show myself out.
bluhbluhbluh 14
try wearing a hoodie
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Amd a baseball cap. And a pair of sunglasses. Congrats! You are now wearing the MCU "I'm just a civilian"-outfit
RichardPencil 32
You don't choose Thug Life, Thug Life chooses you.
Lobby_Bee 18
It's a long and elaborate prank by your friends. They report suspicious person specifically to look like you whenever you change your outlook.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Yeah, sure, we believe you. Nixon said he wasn't a crook, too.
StagGT 13
I think A LOT of people are very dedicated to messing with you 😂
NostalgiaFreak9 43
The theater thug from Drake and Josh come to life.
RichardPencil 32
The solution is so obvious. Put on some tights, a cape and a mask and go around tackling guys that look like you (before you put on the superhero garb.) You're welcome in advance.
Summaria 10
I'm pretty sure it's illegal to takle anyone even if he fits the description of a criminal. That's why you always call the police. If i were you i'd file charges against them.
boopingsnoot 25
It’s called a citizen’s arrest
bkwusa 15
It might have been an attempt at citizen arrest, but since they were wrong it was actually assault with a bit of false imprisonment thrown in.
Ahmed Sakr 16
"Life is a party and I'm the piñata" fits u perfectly.