Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML
Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker, "Turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you." I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, on my way to work, I was checking my hair in the semi-reflective window of an office building. I suddenly realized that the guy I had a one-night stand with last week was standing on the other side, looking confused. He now genuinely believes that I am stalking him. FML
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
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Top comments
Rosie_Posie43 12
Still a better love story than Twilight.
IntoTheClouds 42
YDI for getting drunk enough to sleep with someone you wouldn't want to sleep with sober.
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Comments (89)
Pleonasm 36
It wouldn't seem to far a stretch to think such an obsessive person might do that in order to have a child; a memory she can always keep of him... Jk?
doodlecloud 27
I thumbed you down partly for drinking too much and then thinking you have the right to complain about it and partly because you referred to her as 'man-face'...poor girl...hope you didn't accidentally call her that when you were stupidly drunk...
charvisioku 22
Oh god. I would say YDI, but to be honest the majority of people (in UK and America, at least) have done stupid things when they're drunk. And beer goggles can take effect after a surprisingly small amount. Let's hope she wasn't like "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!!" girl. Check all her pockets for pins and other things she could use to discreetly break the johnny :p *Shudder* You poor bastard.
ropeandneck 7
nice one, it's an ooooold fml you're refering to :)
klovemachine 24
We never found out if she pregnant or not :-/
perdix 31
Hell, yeah! That's what got me to quit drinking heavily. The beer goggles made me think this girl was gorgeous, but later when I found out who it was, I could have won the I.F.A.P.* Award that week. Luckily, I had to got to my room and vomit and pass out before anything happened. (Sorry that you can "hold your liquor" -- weakness in this area can sometimes save us from a big mistake.) By the way, this girl was not only ugly on the outside, she also had a nasty, mean personality. *I ****** A Pig
RedPillSucks 33
Damn, Perdix, that is cold. Soon you'll be singing "I ****** a pig and I liked it"
AholeCop 11
Think how she feels, she wakes up next to the shallow, self-obsessed guy that can't hold his booze.
obviousboy 8
You deserve this on so many levels.
YeniDewie 0
MAN-FACE .... !!!!!!!!!! you make me burst out laugh ... u r crazy .... lol ... LUCKY HER ... !!!! X'D
perdix 31
The good news is that you will produce a very manly-looking child. Of course, this is only good news if she pops out a boy.
perdix 31
#48, you make a good point. Man-faced women often go for girlie-faced men. I tried to make a Punnett square, but I couldn't find if man-face or girlie-face is the dominant trait.
Fusion_Fear 14
Smart one, ydi
Sanrio90 8
YDI, you sound like a complete douchebag. Then again, anyone who'd label themselves as "coolguy" is probably a total wanker.
lostfaithinpppl 19
Absolutely this ^^^ (#46)