Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I woke up in a bathtub, completely soaked and covered in both mine and someone else's puke. Happy New Year. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
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Top comments
tucansamTommyG 12
Good girlfriend you got there.
ohnowhyme123 15
at least you didn't propose
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Comments (51)
homesuckfucker 28
At least you didn't make any irrevocable, long-term mistakes or decisions. You are very lucky to love someone willing to put up with you and help you when you're that plastered, too. She's a keeper. All in all, it sounds like you just had a few too many. It'll be better in a day or two.
Curtis66 19
at least you didn't actually have to put those plans into action yet.
bearstyle22 11
she sounds like a keeper
bcausefuthatswhy 6
You want to the wrong mall huh? :)
Econforthwin 15
I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say you went to the wrong FML.
anoniemm 13
Definitely a keeper... If I were you, I would do something special for her, seeing how she took care of you
JamieLT 22
At least she took care of you. She's a keeper
jigglypuff34 16
This is how memories are made...or forgotten. Stay thirsty my friend.
Baileysear488 17
New years eve partying done right!
dawood_k 27
Your GF is a keeper
protoskore 27
Alcohol: killing brain cells since the dawn off time.
ZachHatesPeople 22
I think you mistook alcohol with meth... Common mistake I hear.