Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I awoke in my bathtub, water all over the floor, all the way into my living room. I drank too much so I don't remember getting into the bath, I have no clue how long I was in there, and I got a message from the manager of my apartment complex telling me the water had leaked into the apartment below. FML
Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML
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Top comments
sweetbliss3 37
can you not call your friend who brought you to the party and have them bring you home?
aidenmccarthy03 8
Use google maps on your phone. Or just call your friend
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Comments (62)
sweetbliss3 37
can you not call your friend who brought you to the party and have them bring you home?
moodyreallyrocks 27
Best of luck OP!! Hope you're alright..
aidenmccarthy03 8
Use google maps on your phone. Or just call your friend
stingray112 24
So you spend your time writing an fml. Clutch
COURT_KING 14
So the first thing you do is go on FML...
teentee401 37
Why is there always a comment like this? The FML was probably written this way to make it more interesting. He probably figured out a way home before submitting.
arano 29
Gotta have your priorities.
tj4234 36
Well that couch is probably now ruined.
gogo44444 28
Call a cab or hitch hike, that's your best option
LilMissCanadian 22
Hitch hiking is a terrible idea. Calling a friend or a cab would be safest.
COURT_KING 14
I agree hitchhiking is a bad idea. Especially being hungover because we live in a world where people will try to take advantage of others. In this case, sexually.
Lalala579121 28
The only way I recommend hitchhiking is if you're dressed as a ghost or have on a dirty white dress or something.
luvlu444 24
call a taxi
ChuckWagonn__ 5
how the **** can he do that if he don't know where he is..?
allforfun 23
Quit drinking.
Brandi_Faith 34
I don't see how this isn't op's fault. If you drink to the point of passing out, then you're basically asking for people to screw with you. Unfortunately there are stupid people, and at a party with alcohol there are a lot of them. Keep your wits about you in those kinds of situations. Not to mention that you're also responsible for all of the stupid things you do before you pass out, seeing as people that drink to that point usually don't remember what they've done. And they often do stupid things to themselves & others. People need to drink more responsibly. Know your limit. Or stop drinking entirely.
MrZsDad 19
It was a party. This was supposed to happen. Usually it is best to happen to someone else, though. lol.
ShadowStarEXE 35
Unfortunately, #9, you're always 'someone else' TO someone else.
Brandi_Faith 34
Especially the drunks at a party that are too drunk to care what happens to anyone else.
justanotherday7 7
What a dick. I hope you brought a friend with you or you can call someone to get you home safely