Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML
Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
Come back and write it with a baseball bat. It's the thought that counts. ;)
easylazy 0
You shouldn't jump to conclusions maybe she was having sex with YOU in the backseat DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?! No. THat's what I thought.
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Comments (200)
PumpkinTarte 0
Birthday seX!
shortypie 3
i love that song! :D
Jaywin 3
Don't need candles and cake. Just need your body to make Birthday Sex! Birthday Sex!
easylazy 0
You shouldn't jump to conclusions maybe she was having sex with YOU in the backseat DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?! No. THat's what I thought.
darkimmortal777 6
LOL #83 made my day =D
Saoul_fml 0
83, that was wonderful. Made me laugh. :D
Fahad_fml 0
hahahahah 83 that was hilarious. but to the OP, that ****** sucks youre doing a nice thing for her and shes out bangin another guy. oh well at least now you can play a mean prank on her since its her birthday. when i say mean i mean mean ha.
maggy_fml 0
ugh what terrible music. anyway FYL!
Teeheez 0
HAHAHA! LOL! #83
salooty 0
love ur pic
jeffracecar24 0
thats horrible
OmniFML 0
Come back and write it with a baseball bat. It's the thought that counts. ;)
sickinlove13 0
Baseball bat, eggs, silly string. The things this guy can do to surprise his girlfriend for her birthday. The options are endless!
mattmag 0
Or just ask the guy, "She told you we're both HIV-positive, right?"
Teeheez 0
Great idea #3. I would have liked to watch that!
sux_too_beh_mehz 0
lol
IamSpartacus 0
ROFl @ #124...
SleepyHead34 0
Win!! a baseball bat will do xD
metheonlyb 17
Agree with #3 and hopefully it is 'EX-Girl friend' that u r talking about
NOfMYlifeFyours 0
And hopefully you beat that guy's ass I would of pulled him out the car and whooped him right there in front of her and probably even gave a cheap shot below the belt so he'd think about it everytime he went to screw your ex after that
CalmBlue 0
I've always found it retarded when people go attacking the people that their partner's are cheating on them with. Most of the time they are the one's who have done nothing wrong.
kendalle_fml 0
should have written on it when she was busy. Be creative.
ohmyerica 0
She was busy, apparently.
shortshan 0
How about writing something like "I'm a ho" or something, since he now knows!
hellosies 0
Oh wowww. I don't have words. Agree with number 3.
Relborg 0
Thats harsh - hope you didnt get her anything expensive ....
Bella_999 0
oh im sorry. that totally sucks... i hope your okaay :)
danielleoutloud 0
Well isnt she having the best birthday ever...
crazy_cat_lady24 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You write on people's cars? I mean, you didn't deserve this, it sucks, but why would you write on someone's car? I hope you pay the carwash.
MusicMan7187 3
He probably wrote it using his finger either on the dirt, or the condensation that gets on the windows late at night/early morning
Tubasaurus 0
Haven't you ever used window markers? They wash off with water.
Jaywin 3
17 is right. You've never seen people right on their cars for graduation and homecoming? It's a window marker that comes off as easily as sidewalk chalk.
lnf9ohfour 0
i think he meant write in those markers which you can wash off easily, because you are supposed to write on windows with them
Mo_mo 0
well I hope he came back and wrote "something" in spray paint. You should have shook the dude's hand and said "congrats dude, I just found out i caught herpes from her, and now you do too. Now everyone has a gift"
newbieattech 0
no he wrote on her car with white paint like people do for their birthdays or graduations it was a cute gesture and a mini-advertisement of her birthday..... unfortunately she didn't deserve it. He should've written "i'm a cheating *****" instead.
Tripodi 0
how have you never seen car window markers?
abdur 0
I lol'd at that one!~ def something to try :P at OP: FYL man... Please do use spray paint this time :P
crazy_cat_lady24 0
No, I haven't seen it. I'm from the Netherlands, people don't write on cars here. And what's homecoming?
SneakyMuffin 0
Why would they pay for the car wash?!? She ******* cheated on him!!!
tanlewis27 7
Damn your a cry baby that stuff is easy to get off!