Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for the first time ever, one of my birthday wishes came true. I wished for my crush to come hang out with me, and she did. I wasted my birthday wish on an awkward silence. FML
Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML
Today, it's my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted out, "You too!" FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
Today, I asked my crush out, after a year of liking her. What did she do? She laughed, took a screenshot of it, and sent it to her friend. FML
Today, I was gonna tell my crush that I love her, but I found out that she has a fiancé. She kept it secret so I would carry on helping her in her studies, like a fool. She was acting like she liked me, but she never did. Now it seems very obvious. FML
Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML
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Top comments
Leeono 26
I agree your life sucks.....as does she.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Oh man, that blows. I mean that sucks! Sorry, I have trouble sizing up a situation. I'll come again when I have something bigger to say.
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Comments (27)
Leeono 26
I agree your life sucks.....as does she.
lj19717 19
Notice me senpai
BurnInDemonFire 39
Duly noticed. Though, to be fair, train wrecks are hard to miss.
blightsight 10
Go back to Cloudsdale
ChromoTec 24
先輩* use the correct Japanese if you're going to say that smh
BurnInDemonFire 39
Oh man, that blows. I mean that sucks! Sorry, I have trouble sizing up a situation. I'll come again when I have something bigger to say.
real life problems 26
Cum on, get your head in the game, get deep in your thought and put your hands to use.
skippydoda 32
Dude, you totally blew it
RichardPencil 32
What’s the matter? Your turn next! Bukkake birthday party!!!
chris_lillo 15
Maybe it's the other guys birthday 🤷♂️
pjsr 33
What kind of girl gives a bj in an elevator, and keeps going when the door opens? Did you read this on a literotica site?
Inkoseh 33
Some say he's still standing there to this day for her to finish!
boopingsnoot 25
Did you tap the guy on the shoulder like, “mind if I cut in?”
Lobby_Bee 18
I'm sorry, the other guy gave her a better gift.
thisisbutaname 38
I see I've been beaten to the punchline, but still, that really sucks, man. I hope you'll find someone that would love to give you ******* in the elevator