Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML
Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML
Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
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Top comments
MadPercussion 0
Label reading can be a useful skill.
THEmuffinpan 0
A series of three periods is called and "ellipses", and is a proper use of punctuation. L2 grammar Nazi nub.
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Comments (88)
saleha97 4
ouch!
sAnChEz_98 0
Well in your defense, doctors offices are not supposed to have their cleaning agents in view of their patients. Still, you should have read the label.
Sparkadelic 4
While you're there you should get your tubes tied. People of your intelligence shouldn't breed.
Stephaline19 0
Wow, that sucks!
thisgirl2u 9
This is super gross. Just the mentioning of "burning" while "cleaning" lady parts has made my stomach turn. >;(
mikemik22 0
sounds awesome
BisFitty 7
BAZINGA! He's been running around as a fail ass grammar Nazi this morning.
kindlystfupls 0
YDI for stealing supplies from the doctor and having a dirty twat! lol
rachaelpeanut 0
uhh . she obviously didn't have a 'dirty twat' she was cleaning off the ky gel they use during the speculum exam. you're fat :)
5t3ff1k4h 47
57 - Nowhere does it imply she has a dirty twat. 77 - Was it really necessary to insult her looks? Let me answer that for you. No. My guess is, either she was cleaning off the gel or wanted to freshen up, which still doesn't mean she had a "dirty twat". Either way, it's clean now!
stevenmx86 8
I'm pretty sure they wouldn't hang an unlabeled container of wipes out for you to figure out what they were... Should have read the label...
FukYurLife_89 0
that's wat u get for tryin to sbeak wipes and clean ur snatch... lol you shoud have already done that