Anonymous
United States
Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
pissingcontest
United States
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Yuk
Toronto, Canada
Slam dunk
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Anonymous
United States
Just pish yerself
Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML
devinbyrne
United States
Dude! Boundaries!
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Anonymous
Keeping warm
Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML
slaughterteddy
United States
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Anonymous
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Woody
Salt Lake City, United States
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Tp
United States
Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML
Tib
United States
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Top comments
sarcdude 3
I've never seen four different streams happen, just two, but I feel your pain. Freakin hate when that happens, and it never makes any sense to me when it does happen.
therealsuperman 0
lucky bastard, this isn't an FML, you're just bragging
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Comments (154)
dceola 0
i didn't read all of the comments, but i'm amazed at how few people understand how the multi-direction pee stream can happen.. If you 'get off' and don't clean yourself well afterwards (easiest/best to go pee soon after), hours later the **** will have somewhat hardened, making it possible for your pee to come out in multiple directions. Good reason to go pee or wipe yourself thoroughly after getting off.
livetodisco 0
That's interesting. My mind was boggled as to how that would happen...but it makes sense now.
my1tigger 0
I've never seen 4 streams before, I've seen and experienced 2 streams, and it's because you're masturbating, the dried sperm at the end of your junk closed up your hole some.
fishycanswim 0
Neat trick!
BillClinton_fml 0
epic!!! I always have a dual stream. u must've had a boner with some encrusted wartage to get a foursome. kudos to u
stevenmx86 8
I have never had a problem after sex or otherwise. For me, it's when a rogue pubic hair gets stuck across the opening...
drumdude99 0
some wacked before peeing!!!
wafflesgirl24 0
this is why men should sit when they pee
ifmlftw 0
men like myself don't want to. thus the invention of the urinal.
martron3000 5
This FML reminded me of soup. Split pee (pea) Get it? hahaha
TimeDisposalEngi 14
HA!
nerdsgetmehot 23
This makes me so glad that I have to sit down to pee.
shrdlu 28
Now THAT's something one doesn't hear very often. :-)
sweetcheeksjvl 0
He could have an infection....