Anonymous
United States
Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
pissingcontest
United States
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Yuk
Toronto, Canada
Slam dunk
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Anonymous
United States
Just pish yerself
Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML
devinbyrne
United States
Dude! Boundaries!
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Anonymous
Keeping warm
Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML
slaughterteddy
United States
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Anonymous
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Woody
Salt Lake City, United States
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Tp
United States
Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML
Tib
United States
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Top comments
sarcdude 3
I've never seen four different streams happen, just two, but I feel your pain. Freakin hate when that happens, and it never makes any sense to me when it does happen.
therealsuperman 0
lucky bastard, this isn't an FML, you're just bragging
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Comments (154)
dt520 4
stop collecting std's and it should straighten out
Cass3m0 0
I'm guessing OP has a shower....
darkwool 0
It just happens sometimes, doesnt have to be because he jizzed or stray hair or whatever. Sometimes it just splits and every guy should know that unless all they do is jerk off and have hair everywhere.
HomeAl0ne 20
Happens occasionally. Like others have said, not peeing straight after ejaculating, or loose pubic hairs getting stuck across the hole. Don't know about the uncircumcised bit, but makes total sense. Best idea is to pinch the tip both ways before you pee to make sure the hole is fully open. Just don't do it in a public lavatory while looking at the guy standing next to you and licking your lips.
skittesryummy98 0
thats from wen u jack-off the u kno what stick it together and thts y so use tissues bish : 0
Sammansix 3
You are pissing me off.
notsoluckypup 12
*like* dnt ask me why :)
arianna18 0
...o.0 maybe you have a button stuck up there? :]
Turqeash 4
4? Dude, you're totally gifted.
Buggi_fml 0
Lmao! I'm sorry for laughing but I totally sympathize! I used to have to pee in a cup once a week at my ob check ups and it gets kinda hard to do when 1. You can no longer see your ****** and 2. It's so swollen from a kid's head resting on it that it comes out in 3 different directions!