Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML
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Top comments
cristy91 33
ki's can't keep a secret at that stage. Tell him "make sure you tell Grammy you love her because she likes to hear it." If he doesn't love grandma, convince him he does. If you have to buy him candy, tell him if anyone finds out, no candy.
Cinn_fml 23
Kids say all the things you don't want them to say. Which I'm fairly certain is a fact of life.
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Comments (45)
SenoraC 0
This isn't an fml....what the ****?
TheBestManEver 0
FYL for living in New Jersey.
Miss_Mandi 29
Hey man, we don't choose to live here lol
joshua7 0
haha i used to do that all the time when i was little
Ludii_fml 0
LOL "snicher" ahaha that made my day.
tina_loves_mark 0
Lol, I see, you don't have a life, when you put this stupid things on FML. ;)
IAmNotPedobear 0
I would gladly provide candy to your children. All I want is one hug.
Djosef_fml 0
Do NOT force your kids to give kisses or hugs when they don't feel comfortable or willing to do so. Bargaining it with candy was wrong in so many ways I feel disgusted. Parenting fail. YDI.
luccers18 4
...no comment
Jenniclementine 8
Why is everyone saying it's the "dumb" kid's fault or that kids are assholes? Parents shouldn't put their kids in that situation to begin with.
fantasyworld 39
You should teach him to give his grandmother hugs and kisses because it's the right thing to do not because he gets rewards.