Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
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Top comments
theamazingone_12 7
you obviously have nice boobs
Rommel1942 9
Hahaha. Gotta love the stupid excuses people make these days
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Comments (180)
XxAnnie23xX 15
I clicked yes to this :D! But seriously fyl he just wants an excuse to look at your boobs.
brunogtz 4
thank you, without your comment i would have never known that
esines 9
Oh no a man was looking at her boobs :(. Her life is ****** for sure now
ghostlilac 25
Either that happens a lot, or he's just a quick thinker lol
Zomg_Okay 27
Secutity? I see what you did there, OP.
Zedd_fml 8
Or a FBI- female boob inspector.
BumbleBug 0
OP wrote security
SliceOfCake 9
136 - we realize. Read the comment again and facepalm.
Zomg_Okay 27
136 - One of the mods corrected the spelling but the original FML read "secutity".
BumbleBug 0
I knew something was wrong. Thanks for the info
valdancer99 0
Well... Are they fake?
TattleTale 8
Well obviously he had to check your boobs if he is the secutity guard.
melons 44
I was wondering if anyone would notice that...
Jumpingmal2 7
^ melons Has the perfect name and picture for this FML
debbster7 18
You've got to admit though. That was pretty clever. ;)
Awsumuzzie 12
That's so depressing... Here, let me take this problem off your chest and I'll carry it for you.
itsme1321 3
You probably should've splurged for the good surgeon...fake **** aren't supposed to LOOK fake :/
perdix 31
My interest in this story depends on the suspected stolen items: Raisins - not interested Plums - a little bit interested Apples - getting more interested Grapefruit - very interested Cucumbers - grossed out Watermelons - fascinated, but more comically than sexually.
challan 19
My stolen items are between plums and apples. I may have to call docbastard.
perdix 31
You get extra points for being a regular commenter -- very interested!
PrincessPesa 20
Grapefruits, baby. Ruby red.
j_cat187 20
Nothing like a big soft creamy cantaloupe.
monkeyhead641 6
Good excuse