Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The car I hit belongs to my girlfriend's father. We never met before. He strongly believes in "first impressions." FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
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Top comments
tiny_cactus 0
At that point, you might as well have just had your way with the daughter. Your relationship with her dad is pretty irreparable.
Kurokawa_fml 0
Should of said...thats how hard i'm gonna HIT THAT and drove off full speed.
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Comments (100)
FerrariCake 2
Sounds like dad was just trying to create a reason to kick your ass. And he succeeded, with your help.
DragonitePaladin 6
I like your sense of irony ;) funny stuff.
Ninjaface 0
The kicker here is the contrapositive. For those of you who don't know what that is (if you do know you can skip to the bottom), it's a priciple of logic that states that when given the proposition "If p, then q." it follows that "If not q, then not p." In this case, p is the dad being able to trust the OP with his daughter, and q is being able to trust him with his car. Basically, the OP got screwed by logic and therefore will not get screwed by his date.
saviisneat 0
Get off this site. There is no need for your "smarty-pants" talk while trying to be funny. And if you ARE trying to sound smart then at least spell "principle" right.
theUnnamed 0
I love it nicely put that is one hell of a proof. but you forgot the QED at the end and the little black box
DocHolliday_fml 0
Or less formally one might take the tack that since he hit the post he WILL be hitting it with his date.
cmac86 24
so I guess that means she's pregnant now?
Everlost 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Telcontar14 0
Aw, I'm sorry dude. Don't listen to the people telling you you deserved it. After all, you told him you didn't want to take the car, and no doubt the pushiness would make a person nervous. FYL
Mr_Pooter 0
Learn how to drive.
bugmenotmofo 34
how the f do you drive into a mailbox? Are you f'ing blind?
COBRAMORPH 0
Honestly, you can have more than one kid, & I never want to have a daughter, but a car is valuable.
DocHolliday_fml 0
I'm sorry but her dad is crazy! A daughter can be replaced.