Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML
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Top comments
ombrelle 0
how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!
Carnivaldead 0
Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.
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Comments (233)
cough 0
did you think that perhaps that because she goes to an all girls Catholic school that you would be risking getting her in severe trouble by having her bf sneaking around vandalizing a car on school premises? hmmmm!
DrCheese 16
That's justification for an arrest? Rrrrrrright......
censorshipoff 0
Ditch the bitch.
deaditegirl 0
She was probably trying to avoid getting in trouble, like 12 said. And could you really not think of a better way to ask her to prom?
abtface12 0
#12 just proves my point, the catholic organization and school system is just stupid they take silly crap like that WAYYYY to seriously. And no i wont apologize for thinking the entire religion is bogus.
lone_wanderer 0
What the hell?! thats not much of a girlfriend! you're probably better off without her
teebonehead 0
um you could get arrested for trespassing on ANY school's campus that you're not a student at... not just an all girl's catholic school. and not even for just "vandalizing", if you simply step foot on another school's campus, that's considered trespassing. welcome to high school rules 101.
tiernang 21
BULLSHIT. Pubic land is not trespassing. But since this was a private school, it was.
greeneyebeauty9 28
Lmao! *public
abtface12 0
sometimes phone calls r boring, what wrong with trying to do something nice?
idreamofpeace 0
That's terrible! I do agree with #12, but she still shouldn't have lied about it. I'm tempted to say that it's time for you to find a new girlfriend. :P
mark_my_words 0
whatever 12 said, she wouldnt had had a too horrible punishment. i went to an all girls catholic school, i would know. and anyway, not worst that getting arrested like op did! lousy gf
Xero3g 5
Your girlfriend is a ****.