Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ombrelle 0
how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!
Carnivaldead 0
Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
Go_Home 0
Well, I don't think that's the best place to do all that, but she should've risked a bit just to keep you safe. She literally watched you get arrested. Anyway, you seem like a nice guy :) Best of luck.
earsybearsy 0
if you haven't dumped her...DUMP HER...DUMP HER NOW i mean like what a ******* bitch...get a better girlfriend...that two-faced bitch
FMLfangirl89 0
dude, harsh. i'd dump the bitch
RoadDoggFL 0
If she's a devout Catholic and gives you crap for anything compare her to Peter denying Jesus. Read up on it and guilt trip her. Might work out for you.
luxornv 0
You could ask her out like a normal person.
JessTrek 0
Ah how typical. Society must protect those gullible little Catholic girls from mean boys. The one gender schools just set their students up for social alienation. Like your girlfriend. Dump the weirdo.
Ricky_rubio121 0
u need a new girl that actually likes u.
nonotme 0
YDI i wouldn't have defended you either, i might have beat the hell out of you later for it. You're an idiot for trying to go to an uptight Catholic girls school in this day and age and expecting to get out of there without any consequences.
dswhite85 11
#61: Stfu, you're crazy too
VictimOfTheft 0
dump that *****