Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
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Top comments
passinthrough 1
Do both of you agree that you have a relationship? Cause it doesn't sound like she's in on it.
LeavenSilva 27
Some people honestly need to think about how appropriate their "jokes" are... I mean, calling the cops is a bit far for a joke
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Comments (130)
LeavenSilva 27
Some people honestly need to think about how appropriate their "jokes" are... I mean, calling the cops is a bit far for a joke
funsizedliz 16
She's a bitch..
kirasant 19
Yeah, it's real far from a joke. This sort of crap is why women in real danger can't get help. OPs girlfriend is a selfish moron.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How is he selfish? He just wanted to visit her... although if he was being a dick and wouldn't leave when she asked him to then I understand
leogachi 15
He said his girlfriend is selfish, not that he is selfish.
leogachi 15
What exactly is "stalkerish" about surprising your partner at work, #38? People do that all the time.
leogachi 15
She couldn't have said that because he surprised her.
Gwyndion 9
ARKHAM88 is giving of an awfully stalkerish vibe. Seems to have experience stalking as he/she assumes the BF knew beforehand his GF didn't want to see him. Guess they're projecting their own behavior on the OP.
kirasant 19
#67, Where did it say that he was told that before hand? Cus it doesn't say that, just that he was told that at some point. How do you know that he didn't call the GF after he was thrown out and she told him it then?
tdawg91 17
If you read it correctly, you'll see that the "bored and didn't want to see me" is the reason she called security, not what she told OP. She's an absolute moron, now security probably has a massive incident report to fill out and she's also wasting police time, filing false reports is illegal and idiots like her are the reason police are so slow to respond to an actual emergency
enginsteve 17
i think #25 sums it up perfectly.
wtffml1979 22
ARK agree with you. It obviously meant that she said that before he went there. If not he would've said that later in the paragraph.
wtffml1979 22
If you read the damn thing it says he decided to visit her BECAUSE she was bored and didn't feel like seeing him. It's projected by his writing that he went after she said that.
Forbid21 21
The way I interpret this, OP had no clue she felt that way UNTIL he got there when she decided to call security on him as a joke because she was bored and didn't want to see him. There is nothing stalkerish about what he did, neither do I see anything wrong with what he did.
Csoi 28
#133 you see the puncution point before the word "because"? that tells you he didn't know prior to visiting. it also says "I decided to surprise my girlfriend" so he never contacted her, telling her he would go to her place of work.
ptellini 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Is she blonde?
SweetasCandy0609 28
could you sound anymore like a sterotype?
Aimeejasmine 15
The typical blonde joke involves a punch line of the women doing something mind numbingly stupid, in this case OPs girlfriend clearly knew what she was doing. I'd say to take the hint OP
R2Y2 22
Maybe, but one thing is for sure: she's definitely a lame ass!
Juicenub 25
Well, if she wants to see you at her work again you can tell her to look at the poster ;)
Benmantha 31
I guess she turned your surprise for her into one for you.
Welshite 40
Next time go through the air ducts and drop into her office that way. It's flawless. Bonus points if you are dressed all in black.
passinthrough 1
Do both of you agree that you have a relationship? Cause it doesn't sound like she's in on it.
lexa1love 16
That's what I'm thinking. Having someone tell you directly that they don't want to see you and then show up at their work place anyway could be borderline in a brand new relationship.
ironmany_fml 23
stop being so judgemental, the "girlfriend" could be a crazy psycho fpr all you know
JLDork 11
Lol so it's only judgemental if it's against the guy? But it's completely reasonable to assume she's a psycho bitch?
nix1993 41
Good grief you people need to read it properly! 33, he did not show up after she said she didn't want to see him. The full stop is important here- He decided to surprise her at work FULL STOP. Then, BECAUSE she was 'bored and didn't want to see him' she called the police. He tried to do a nice thing for an immature little halfwit that didn't deserve it, and apparently feels that security and the police are there solely to cater to her little jokes.
HighasaCloud 46
#33 - You misunderstood. OP didn't visit anyway regardless of her not wanting to see him. The girlfriend told OP that she didn't want to see him AFTER he had already shown up. He wanted to surprise her and had no idea how she felt until he got there. Perfectly innocent on his part.
GIGA_IMPACT 15
Invite her to dinner and then call the cops saying she's been following you all the way to the restaurant
XPhoenixFire 17
How about we leave the cops out of it. Im sure they have better things to do than deal with the "jokes" of some couple.
devildog562 33
Your girlfriend is kinda a dick huh? Why would she not tell security the truth before it spiraled ?
socialproduct 19
Sounds like she might be a bit of a sociopath.
MrConcise 35
She didn't stop it because that looks unprofessional and could have repercussions on her job, not that I condone what she did. I have no strong opinions either way about it. Some people like that sort of "high-stakes public embarrassment" relationship. Might be fun, I won't knock it until I try it.
rosha267 21
Are you sure she's your girlfriend?
AkashaSC2 11
I'd say that if she is, then she WAS.
RedPillSucks 33
exactly this. she can't possibly be OPs girlfriend
makersmarkmike 17
I would send some of my friends to her workplace and cause some problems just to get even