Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML
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Top comments
ombrelle 0
how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!
Carnivaldead 0
Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.
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Comments (233)
CandyApple 0
ok one:...fyl. two: wow some of these comments are really offensive. im a catholic but im not a super religous catholic who campains against abortion and refuses to socialize with guys. obviously some of these people havent met an average catholic person. sorry to rant but it pees me off when people think all chistians/catholics are hardcore :( i bet im going to get a lot of hate replies
Smelly_Douche 0
ROFLMFAO... but yeah FYL totally
DmdFrmThStrt 0
Did she say yes to prom though??
oopsyipooped 0
lol to one before me
Dusa_fml 0
Wow what a bitch, dump her.
wowfmlife 0
#139, you couldn't be more wrong. I go to an all girls Catholic high school and i love it. I actually look forward to going to school everyday. My teachers are awesome and are always joking around, hardly prison...
blondieex67 0
mhmm shes a keeperr ! ahahaaa omgg tht is funnny
Nandian90 0
I like the sound of Lock Down. LOL
icanhazstapler 0
Next time you're with her give her a nice, hearty donkey punch. It'll make you feel better.
bollywood_rocks 0
YDI. As someone who went to Catholic BOARDING school, I can tell you from experience that if she had admitted to knowing you,at best she'd be disciplined and probably suspended. At worst,she may be kicked out. The Catholic church has the corner on hypocrisy and like to either deny that we the members are so innocent that we don't do all those things they are against so your girlfriend was trying to save herself. 2. If you've been with her for a while,you should've known she was Catholic and the workings of church and parochial schools. I won't say go out and find another girlfriend but next time be considerate. The schools I went to required ONLY family to sign out the student even and even at that they had to call ahead to say they were signing us out. Sorry... Oh and if the school is all girl AND Catholic,uh they may not do the whole prom thing...