Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML
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Top comments
ombrelle 0
how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!
Carnivaldead 0
Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.
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Comments (233)
Natradtasticx17 0
i can't people like that man geez lol if she really liked you,she would of totally said she'd known you. what a bitch.
princess333 0
wooooow ... what a bitch girlfriend !!! dump her
xchd22x 0
1. dont decorate her car (because that would be a stupid idea)......just ask her in person. That's advice for your NEXT GIRLFRIEND. dump the one that denied knowing you when you got arrested. she is an asshole. i must say it again DUMP HER ASS!!!!
ItecKid 0
Well, if some one 'decorated' my car, whoever they were, for whatever reason, I'd report them for vandalism. Sounds like your girlfriend is pretty smart.
strike9 0
Wow man. That really sucks. I'm so sorry :/
kellster 2
Sounds like she was pissed at you for defacing her car! I know lots of guys who would react that way if anyone put crap all over their cars, personally. Also, yeah, I realize that you meant it as a sweet gesture, but you didn't think this through. Catholic school???? You snuck on campus and caused a huge scene, which could very well have gotten your gf into trouble. Not cool! On the other hand, I realize that she was angry, but denying that you know someone that you're dating is pretty seriously not okay. Are you still together??
00754chan 0
If its a hardcore catholic school, she probably isnt allowed a boyfriend.. or even to associate with boys.
wbrycem 0
Oh man I hate when that happens. Like when you recently are going out with a girl, and she comes to where you're working, and doesn't even acknowledge you ... yeah that hurts. You can tell that relationship isn't going places.
anatomize 0
Typical Christian thing to do.
jadiyy 3
Oh awh ! I go to a Catholic all girls high school too . Those lock downs are way over the top . I feel bad for you . Why would she deny you ? I don't think she's a good girlfriend . #160 , anatomize , don't be a little biatch and go off insulting Catholics/Christians . Everyone's different . This girlfriend was just . . iunno what she thinks she was doing but . . . okay .