Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me over, so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom handed me a box. When I got home, I opened it. His mom had baked me a break-up cake. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
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Top comments
starwind3438 9
Wow, what an ungrateful bitch.
Blueglasscup 18
Ouch. Marry him and then you can scream "WELL YOU'RE MY MOTHER IN-LAW NOW BITCH"... Actually don't do that.
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Comments (191)
kasumii 1
Sounds just like a future mother-in-law. Marry him. You can't losed the fight.
Epic_Fail_Nate 0
Wtf? His mom is a bitch! Sorry, OP.
weardo2011 0
wow what a bitch I would have botched her out for tha
dubsweets 0
C U Next Time. (****)
DocBastard 40
You should rest easily knowing she will get fat from eating the chocolates and she will prick her fingers on the thorns.
LexxyLiime 0
it looks like you spent A LOT of time on fml... 3000+ comments..
kurado 1
well, that's a complete bitchy action... but anyway, u showed her that u r good. keep ur heads up.
ipwnlosers 4
OP has more than one head?
kewlstoribro 6
Lol she has a dick :D so she has two heads ;)
FlashBurn 13
Tell her you're glad about that because she's such a bitch no one would want to be her daughter, and you wouldn't want a mother like her so when you get married, he's not her son any more. :D
Cram_Burglar 0
'make' her some more chocolates, and next year, she will be in for a nasty surprise
paras0mnia 3
Well she does make a good point... A bitch? yes, luckily not your bitch mother :P
eir64 0
like someone else said, mothers day isn't just to show appreciation for your own mothers, but for all mothers. as a whole. the gift wasn't implying that she wanted to find a mother in that woman, it was just a gesture to be respectful. stating the obvious isn't really the same as having a point in this case, in my opinion.
Nguyenydapooh 5
ice cold his moma's heart