Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Today, I tried to prank my girlfriend. I said, “I saw you kissing another guy!” She apologized. FML
Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Time to 1. Get tested and 2. Get a new girlfriend. Oh, and if you have any kids 3. Get a paternity test.
Davey Crocker 7
I guess in her mind, those two transgressions are equal.
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Comments (6)
Davey Crocker 7
I guess in her mind, those two transgressions are equal.
Bogrbon 27
Time to 1. Get tested and 2. Get a new girlfriend. Oh, and if you have any kids 3. Get a paternity test.
RichardPencil 32
"Honesty is the best policy?" Bullshit!
Brightside86 31
You can do better, people like that aren't worth the stress.
kitten79TX 5
Dump her!