Today, I went out for drinks with two 18 year-old girls and a 30 year-old woman. I'm 53, and wanted to hook up with the 30 year-old. She got drunk after an hour and went home in a taxi, meanwhile the two 18 year-olds drank me under the table. I'm sat with them trying to sober up so I can walk home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she's more of a party animal than I ever will be. I'm a 22 year-old man. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML
Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I went out for drinks for the first since I stopped breastfeeding. I underestimated how low my tolerance had become and how strong the drinks were. My husband was stopped by two bouncers while trying to carry me to the car. They thought he'd drugged me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
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Top comments
lilacgold 16
Trying to hook up with someone 23 years your junior is still hella sketchy, and I don't blame her for going home if she picked up on it. And 18 year olds often have way more alcohol tolerance than you'd expect, I'm not surprised about that part at all.
RichardPencil 32
Together they make 36, so a threesome would've been in your wheelhouse.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Together they make 36, so a threesome would've been in your wheelhouse.
HateCelebz 10
hahaha thats brilliant
gymgirl93 11
You deserved it… blend with people your own age
HateCelebz 10
people my age are sat watching tv every night with their boring lives. i like women no matter what the age
lilacgold 16
Trying to hook up with someone 23 years your junior is still hella sketchy, and I don't blame her for going home if she picked up on it. And 18 year olds often have way more alcohol tolerance than you'd expect, I'm not surprised about that part at all.
HateCelebz 10
i was married to a woman 20 years younger than me for 13 years, i like intelligent younger women
wiccaantje 21
So you are 53...13 years of marriage so if you divorced this year that means you married at 40, with someone 20years younger, so 20 years . Or even younger, because you might have been divorced for longer. Sir, that marriage does NOT defend your position.
HateCelebz 10
lol jealous?
dreams2383 20
53 and 30 is not sketchy at all. they are both 2 consinting adults. the 30 year old is close to middle age for God's sake.
wiccaantje 21
You are both wrong. The person you replied to is wrong, because at 30y old, they can decide for themselves whether or not to date 20years older or not. You don't need to call people out for being creeps, we can call them creeps ourselves as we are not young adults. You are wrong, because it's still sketchy. I just had my 32th birthday, all the +50y olds at work were going "ohhh to be that young". Most of them have kids my age...OR OLDER. They constantly vibe protectiveness towards me. And there's still a HUGE generation gap there, I grew up with the internet becoming a thing, they're the one's that either don't trust anything on the internet or give their banking info to a nigerian prince. Just because you don't need to defend anyone because they can take care of themselves, does not make it not sketchy. It is however none of our business. People are allowed to be sketchy.
HateCelebz 10
thanks. women mature younger than men, thats what i believe
Hangryko 32
Date women your own age. YDI
IHaveThePower 18
I hope you learned a valuable lesson about competing with a hyperactive teenager's metabolism...:P