Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to, and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML
Today, and up until now, I never knew my dad had a racist streak until he found out his usual fish and chip shop had been turned into an Indian takeaway. The language he was using, I had to google what half of the names even meant, since I wasn't born in the '70s. The neighbours definitely heard him, because now they won't talk to us. FML
Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML
Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML
Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Assuming, gets you everytime.
Pleonasm 36
I guess he's Naan-Native of your Mother Land.
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Comments (105)
Kimmy___888 8
You totally deserved this. Obviously you're in an area where that isn't be main language, so the only reason I could see for you ordering like that is to look cool and show off. Don't be such an asshat next time.
archi_fml 8
well, he should atleast know his mother tongue >.
rhcpgurl 18
that's what you get for assuming. And my personal opinion, slightly racist of you. Just because you look at someone and they look a certain race does not indicate they speak the language. Shame on you.
Grimnirwher9 21
Normally I would agree to this statement, but this happened in an Indian takeaway...
Megan98 18
Well if the owner acted like that right off the bat I wouldn't order there anyways.
prljm10 10
Why didn't you ask if he spoke Hindi first? There are a ton of other languages in India other than Hindi... Tamil, Malayalam, Gujurathy, etc. he probably spoke one of those.
shine004 8
Its Gujarati..not gujurathy!
interesting33 37
Most people working in restaurants speak the language of the country they are in - surely your friends could have gone up?
sonnyrosa 32
I'm assuming you know SOME English, otherwise your FML wouldn't be so eloquently written.
bikramkohli 11
Actually, Hindi has several dialects spoken across north India. As you go south, Hindi gets less common and English becomes more common. States in India are divided on linguistic basis - simply put there are as many languages as there are states in India. Also, Hindi is NOT the national language. It's one of the official languages, the other being English. The official language inter-state is english and intra-state is the state's own language. Our constitution is written in English as well. In OP's defense, if you're the owner of an Indian restaurant, you should at least know Hindi or be polite about it if you don't (but that's in any service industry).
not_bothered 10
I'm Sri Lankan and speak Sinhalese, and I get spoken to in Hindi quite a lot, by people assuming that I speak their language.. I would have found it annoying too.
blackvyper 8
That's why English is called an international language...