Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to, and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML
Today, and up until now, I never knew my dad had a racist streak until he found out his usual fish and chip shop had been turned into an Indian takeaway. The language he was using, I had to google what half of the names even meant, since I wasn't born in the '70s. The neighbours definitely heard him, because now they won't talk to us. FML
Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML
Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML
Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Assuming, gets you everytime.
Pleonasm 36
I guess he's Naan-Native of your Mother Land.
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Comments (105)
GlitterGoddess 6
What the **** is wrong with the world today? Can no one be ******* nice and accept people for who the **** they are? I am so damn happy that all the older generation is going to die soon...
shine004 8
Hindi is the national language of India. So op took a chance ;)
general_s 0
It's not the 'national language' you ass hole! Theres no mention of it in the constitution. It's just the official language.
metalcrazed 21
Wow,why would you assume he was from India? He might have been born in the united states and his grandparents were from another country. I think YDI for assuming where he was from just based on his looks.
shine004 8
Alright! You douche-fag.
simoncat 11
Rimjob? Seriously? He called you, "rimjob"? So much for his customer service skills. I'd have taken my business elsewhere.
ozpunker 20
If someone at a store called me a rimjob, I'd ask them to be my friend. That's an awesome insult. Right up there with douche nozzle and dong holster.
ozpunker 20
I've always wanted to order Thai food in Thai, but I've always been afraid incase they don't actually speak it.
bexxiiee 11
You know what assuming does... Makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
sexyboi1985 27
Bhenchod ! Chutiya
Ambiguous404 6
That's not nice'
Himlagott 14
Hindi isn't a dialect, it's a language. Other languages are Telugu, Sindhi, Bengali... and many many more, that are about as related as English is to Greek. India isn't just a country, it's more like a continent and has more variation in language and religion etc than the whole of Europe.