Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to, and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML
Today, and up until now, I never knew my dad had a racist streak until he found out his usual fish and chip shop had been turned into an Indian takeaway. The language he was using, I had to google what half of the names even meant, since I wasn't born in the '70s. The neighbours definitely heard him, because now they won't talk to us. FML
Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML
Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML
Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Assuming, gets you everytime.
Pleonasm 36
I guess he's Naan-Native of your Mother Land.
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Comments (105)
j0k3r91 6
i know how that feels
rita0ral 8
I giggled
monkiki62 5
Well he probably decided to live here permanently and gave up his old language. But you shouldn't do that because its important to remember where your from.
Odyy_fml 7
Why would you not assume he knows at least how to understand English? You're in the United States, I'd be really worried if someone who ran a business didn't speak English.
haha_goodone 3
Plenty of people in LA that run businesses don't speak a word of english...
thew_fml 14
there are 1500+ languages in india, with 22 being official state languages. in NYC for example most the of the indian restaurants are owned and staffed by bengalis, who very well may not speak hindi.
jmartin91 0
Maybe you should speak English when you're in America.
cna1216 15
No affense, but this is 'murica after all. (PS is it spelled affense or offense?)
Brak_Spaceman 19
Is it spelled moron or maroon?
silentxninja 13
You should never assume that someone speaks a certain language, despite what nationality they may appear to be, or your location. The same thing could happen in a Chinese, Italian, or Mexican restaurant. Just because the waiters, waitresses, owners, etc. all work in those cultural restaurants, it doesn't mean they all speak languages from those countries or are from them... Besides, most restaurants based off foods from other cultures, in America, at least, is probably the American version of those types of foods.
fantasyworld 39
I would have asked first if he spoke Hindi.
Amit Sagar 10
chityaap hogaya bc