Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to, and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML
Today, and up until now, I never knew my dad had a racist streak until he found out his usual fish and chip shop had been turned into an Indian takeaway. The language he was using, I had to google what half of the names even meant, since I wasn't born in the '70s. The neighbours definitely heard him, because now they won't talk to us. FML
Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML
Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML
Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Assuming, gets you everytime.
Pleonasm 36
I guess he's Naan-Native of your Mother Land.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
mangoboy1 19
Bayvakoof!
dakatabg 31
English my friend :)
perdix 31
He could have just smiled and given you a Vegemite sandwich.
metalcrazed 21
You made my day thanks :P
bdsabour92 2
That's what you get for being pretentious and trying to impress people
Ameel_fml 19
Speaking your native language = being pretentious?
Jaxx66 21
That's unfair to assume OP was attempting to 'impress' someone by speaking his mother-tongue. He clearly stated that none of his friends speak it, from the FML I got the vibe that OP was thrilled at the thought of being able to communicate in that fashion again. If you went to... Lets say Japan... And you spoke Japanese all day, everyday for years, you'd be very happy if someone spoke your language once in a while. It doesn't make you pretentious to attempt it once in a while if you feel they of all people might understand you.
Orchard 33
Omg I think I just found my new favorite insult: calling someone rimjob! My life is complete :)
worldclassrager 41
Still I think that's worth the expression...they should know their native language though...besides the point that he looks Indian...
emilyjgraham 34
So you're saying because he looks Indian he should know the countries native language? Even if they've lived in America all their lives?? That's stupid.
maosquare 18
Assuming someone should speak a certain language while looking at their skin colour borders on racism, just so you know.
xALEXx_fml 15
I don't know if this is a Your life sucks or you deserve it.
Zebediabolical 45
This is a stone cold one hundred percent You Deserve It. When the authorities do something like this we call it racial profiling and condemn them for it. America is the great melting pot, you can't assume that someone speaks a language because of the way they look and where the work.
emilyjgraham 34
How the ******* **** is this racist?? I live in Wales in the UK and the county I'm from doesn't speak a lot of Welsh. I went to school and learnt a little. I now work in an office where I answer the phone bilingually because we're asked to and although I don't speak Welsh people will start the conversation in Welsh and I have to politely stop them. Is that racist? That they've assumed I can speak it? No. Racism is getting out of control I think, you can barely breathe properly these days without someone saying "that's racist."
Zebediabolical 45
Apples and oranges. You answer the phone in two languages so it's not unreasonable for the person calling to assume you speak both. This guy is seemingly indian and works or runs an indian restaurant in the US. Unless OP can hear them speaking a foreign language with own ears or there is a sign saying YOU CAN ORDER IN HINDI or the like, it is exactly racial profiling to make that sort of assumption. You are making broad assumptions based on color and/or ethnicity. I'm clearly not saying there's racial discrimination going on, but racial profiling certainly is.
evilplatypus 39
Because it still wasn't amusing.
waltjrimmer 6
Knew a guy, went to a Mexican restaurant. The waiters all spoke with heavy accents, so he decided to speak Spanish to them, as he'd taken over three years in the class. The waiter leaned down and whispered, "Hey man, we just do it for atmosphere. I don't know a word of that shit."