Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I suggested ordering Uber Eats and my new boyfriend looked at me like I was suggested kissing a warthog, then ranted about how he's "not paying extra to get wrong cold food handled by an illiterate brown guy." Okay then. FML
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
Today, I think I found out just how many times I've ordered through UberEats when my delivery guy told me that, "We should stop seeing each other like this!" with a chuckle. FML
Today, I started ordering food on Uber Eats, hoping to meet a cute delivery girl and start a conversation. I got deliveries from "Stacey", "Pamela", and "Julie." All three of them were men who spoke poor English. FML
Today, I discovered that my cool, unique first name translates to "unwanted" in Hindi. Both my parents studied abroad in India for five years. FML
Today, the dean of the university I go to delivered a DoorDash order to me. FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, we live in a society where an Uber Eats order arrives a lot faster than the authorities. To make things worse, the Uber Eats order arrives screwed up as well. FML
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML
Today, I had to endure an awful taxi ride. He got me to my destination perfectly and on time, but spewed a racist rant about how, "all Indians are scammers" and how, "the Chinese should get out" the entire time. Then the taxi app had the audacity to ask for a rating. 5 stars? I don't think so. FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
Stop shouting at them. They’re trying to get a reaction out of you and it’s working. Yes, they’re being absolute morons and, no, I don’t get why people like that think it’s funny. Just pretend they’re invisible and most, if not all, will get bored of their stupid prank and go into something else.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Either rise above it by ignoring them, or sink to their level and start calling them "pasty-faced MAGA *****". Although knowing the intelligence of the average U.S.ian they won't understand either option.
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Comments (4)
Yudith 28
At least you're not studying in Quebec and working for Tata motors. Being called "Tata" over there is akin to being called "moron" or "idiot".
TomeDr 25
Stop shouting at them. They’re trying to get a reaction out of you and it’s working. Yes, they’re being absolute morons and, no, I don’t get why people like that think it’s funny. Just pretend they’re invisible and most, if not all, will get bored of their stupid prank and go into something else.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Either rise above it by ignoring them, or sink to their level and start calling them "pasty-faced MAGA *****". Although knowing the intelligence of the average U.S.ian they won't understand either option.
Studious_Gluteus 20
Lean into it. Carry bags of dicks. (They come in gelatin gummy variety) Whomever mocks you, insist that it's their order.