Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to, and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML
Today, and up until now, I never knew my dad had a racist streak until he found out his usual fish and chip shop had been turned into an Indian takeaway. The language he was using, I had to google what half of the names even meant, since I wasn't born in the '70s. The neighbours definitely heard him, because now they won't talk to us. FML
Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML
Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML
Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Assuming, gets you everytime.
Pleonasm 36
I guess he's Naan-Native of your Mother Land.
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Comments (105)
olpally 33
Haha, it's cool your bilingual! What a rim-job that guy is though.
Hobbit79 10
Well you should've told him to speak some hindi, he is in india after all.
Dilwann 27
It's sent from the US. Ergo, not India.
Hobbit79 10
Right, my mistake. :)
ironichalibut 24
India, the 73rd state of America.
Dawnstempest 17
Yes, but Hindi is the most common so it's the best choice when you want to first start a conversation.
Llamacod 11
I'm sure there are lots of dialects, the real question should be: Aren't there more languages spoken in India other than Hindi?
jackaced 7
Then OP slaps him and screams 'You moron!' In Hindi
Neonemerld 21
Because remember kids, the best solution to any problem is to slap 'em silly.
TogeBara 12
This is why I don't speak Spanish even in Spanish dinners. Too big a chance they don't speak it and then think you are racist or something. It has happened and will happen again.
vladimirnabokov 15
My best friend is Indian. I can speak a little Telegu and some Hindi :p I have another Indian friend who speaks Punjabi, English, and Hindi. Hindi is definitely the best language to use when approaching another Indian person. No sweat OP :)
Olympiakos10 15
It's not that hard to understand that #20 is just trolling. Why so many thumbs down?
HaraAishi 8
The other thing is is that he could be Caribbean Indian. I had a boss that was Caribbean Indian and didn't know Hindi.
thephunkmaster 12
That would be Guyanese.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
So you think you speak Hindi huh?