Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Today, I'd signed up to try a workout class at the gym. However, as soon as the instructor started the class, I realized it was much more intense than I had anticipated. I ended up passing out and had to be carried out of the class by the instructor. FML
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Top comments
s3kShUn47 20
In front of multiple people? And you, nor anybody else said anything about it..?
Greenteamextreme 16
Should have kicked him in the nuts and blamed it on those final death throes!
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Comments (82)
Cebolamole 13
I hope you gave him some CPR on his face. With an open hand.
Chiroptera_Man 10
That's really disgusting. Any way to report that?
Lilly_974 14
I hope everyone saw and he embarrassed himself... He sounds like a pervert. Sorry OP
Miscellanonymous 8
well after you could of switched it up and literally make him unconscious and turn that training into the real deal;) except maybe no recovery on your part
MJD14 13
some people.
daydreamer244 13
Yeah..."perform CPR".
synnefrenia 8
What the hell? That's sexual assault. Report his ass.
filiperry 13
This is where your are 200% wrong. As an EMT we all have to go threw that training. Suck it the freak up.
raphanne_fml 33
I don't think basic training entails going "threw" sexual assault. Did you even read the FML?
steftriv 18
I wonder where he got the idea that his actions are deemed appropriate and thinks that he can get away with it.....Idiot
worldclassrager 41
Most guys do that...hence I believe that recovery CPR and every thing else in that form should be preformed on the same sex...
limabeans101029 21
...No, most guys do not grope random women's boobs without her permission. Only the creepy ones.
skittyskatbrat 19
No. Actual men try to restrain themselves from punching the jackasses that do that. My husband would probably fail to restrain himself, but I'd be happy to pay the bail for him. Damn few men think that crap is "okay". The only problem is that the ones disgusted and angered by it don't act on that often enough.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
my husband would probably blah blah ok ok no neeed to brag about it , this isn't about you