Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Today, I'd signed up to try a workout class at the gym. However, as soon as the instructor started the class, I realized it was much more intense than I had anticipated. I ended up passing out and had to be carried out of the class by the instructor. FML
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Top comments
s3kShUn47 20
In front of multiple people? And you, nor anybody else said anything about it..?
Greenteamextreme 16
Should have kicked him in the nuts and blamed it on those final death throes!
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Comments (82)
Khaleesi_26 30
And now you guys are breast friends!
qdawg06 23
I hope you or someone else said something. That's pervy to the max.
Vickeh 15
Aside from the gropping part, doing CPR randomly like that can be very harmful... your co-worker could have broken some of your ribs.
SkyGuy32 17
That's what I was originally thinking. I thought this would be a pain FML, not a creeper one.
guinea_pigs 9
What a creep. Sorry you had to deal with that, OP.
upallnight11 19
Why would OP lie? So you can't get sexually harassed when lying on the floor?
Isa_fml 20
Ew. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope he got in trouble for it.
K3YD0N 13
Thats funny, today i went to a first aid class, unfortunately i misheard the instructor and thought we were supposed to be doing cpr.
Brandi_Faith 34
CPR with a breast exam right?
Acid1260 21
I took survival classes and I never saw that happen.
cjmedic 12
How the hell do you confuse recovery position with CPR?!
vanessa_tranz 15
The OP said the guy "decided to perform CPR", which gives me the impression that it was on purpose and he just wanted to grope her.
acash93 7
At least it was a heterosexual act. My first aid trainer was gay & he spooned me (hypothermic patient) to demonstrate to everyone the first aid procedure. I felt much more than his warmth, but I had to do it because he was the examiner.
Astrum14 24
Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. It's not "better" because it was heterosexual harassment.
RedPillSucks 33
I'll never understand why instructors volunteer women to do this. There's almost always some creep in these classes that will do some groping. Get some 300lb no neck linebacker to do this. Then you'll know if people are really dedicated when they have to do the breathing part of cpr
mikbrooke 25
i've done multiple first aid classes. its not instructors volunteering women. EVERYONE has to prove that they know how to put people into the recovery position to pass the course. and at times, you will be a female partnered with a male to do it. everyone i've ever met whilst doing this though, realises that its actually serious and doesnt try to grope anyone, nor 'tries' to do CPR on an actual person.
cjmedic 12
I've been partnered with males many times, but none of them ever tried to grope me. This sort of thing is not the norm.