Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, whilst I was setting up a room for a paediatric first aid course, some of the students arrived. At that precise moment I dropped one of the dolls, and for whatever reason, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oops, I killed the baby." Death glares ensued very quickly. FML
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML
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Top comments
strandedinalimo 0
Both good to know.
shananigans 0
Haha. Coworker win.
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Comments (180)
strandedinalimo 0
Both good to know.
aFMLaddict 0
hahah, I agree.
MissAndreaSummer 0
haha they sure told you! lmao.
FYLDeep 26
As if I didn't know the proper technique to kill a baby.
advent2060 4
pretty funny but not really an fml
Jotham 0
nice co-worker, I would love to work with him
ravensunnyd 0
I don't get it
Mehness 0
Laugh it off and give the man a high five. Problem solved, so quit bitchin' about this trivial little thing.
Scoli85 0
@#16: Your comment made me laugh, keep up the good work.
selan_fml 0
props!
Zills 0
MLIA!!!!!!
SLKBlack96 5
stop whining
kylehogg 0
be more coordinated fag
Gannon1994 0
@19 I hate people like you who constantly say things aren't an FML. To what extent will make it FML 'worthy' for you? Somebody dying or something along the lines of that? Just shut up and read the next one.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Were you able to save the baby with CPR? Oh and YDI for being a show-off.
Aah_Zombies 0
This sounds more like an MLIA reject turned into an FML. Funny though.
Secret_Fire_King 0
Your co-worker is pretty much a noob at baby-killing.. A small accidental kick will not kill a baby.. And if it did, you'd have a hard time explaining to the authorities what happened.. I'd suggest you tell your co-worker to rethink his baby-killing methods..
asmidiske 0
I was under the impression that OP was the CPR instructor? In which case "practising flawless CPR" would be her job rather than her "showing off" as some other commenters have said.
kidde 0
YDI for being a douche!
hayleyjames 0
LMFAO
ilovefatcats 12
hahahahahahahaha DIE ******* BAYBIE, DIE!!!!!!!
SadinSherman 16
Seriously?
SadinSherman 16
CPR isn't that hard to learn
Aim4thebullseye 4
ur doing it wrong. to save a baby from drowning all you gotta do is take your foot off it's head
blaaaaakely 0
I like dick.
inuyashagirl 0
Put your boobs away please. Trust me, no one wants to see that.
jayjaysmokerson 0
speak for yourself
Zills 0
Indeed speak for yourself. Are you complaining because you're jealous?
thikimo 0
mmm I like
blaaaaakely 0
shut the **** up. at least I don't watch inuyasha. nobody wants to see that, either.
Taylorfacepwns 0
@116 xDD pwned.
WordsOfHope 0
116 ftw
xHabsfanx 0
lol @ 116 winnn!
KYTRwerepyre 0
dont worry I like inyuasha and even though the 'boys' want to look at breasts i agree with you. @blaaakey (couldnt remember how many a's) just go put them on faceboook if you want people to look at them and have a name like "Add me if you want to stare at the top of my breasts" or something shorter
blaaaaakely 0
oh, I see what you did there. as witty as that was, you don't have to be such a prick to people you don't know. you sound sound childish and insecure. and why was boys in quotes? I'd take more offense to what you said if you didn't seem like such a colossal retard. also, nice emo care bear. I should probably take a page from your book and start watching inuyasha and insulting strangers to make me feel better about myself.
blaaaaakely 0
oh, I see what you did there. as witty as that was, you don't have to be such a prick to people you don't know. you sound sound childish and insecure. and why was boys in quotes? I'd take more offense to what you said if you didn't seem like such a colossal retard. also, nice emo care bear. I should probably take a page from your book and start watching inuyasha and insulting strangers to make me feel better about myself.
blaaaaakely 0
oh, I see what you did there. as witty as that was, you don't have to be such a prick to people you don't know. you sound sound childish and insecure. and why was boys in quotes? I'd take more offense to what you said if you didn't seem like such a colossal retard. also, nice emo care bear. I should probably take a page from your book and start watching inuyasha and insulting strangers to make me feel better about myself.
TempestJones 0
@blaaaaaakey: I think it's a nice and classy pic! PS i'm a straight chick.. so it's nit just a perverted thing like the retards think. @Retards being rude: it's not like she's showing nipple you prudish little cotholic reject wannabes! Not do nice being insulted by faceless strangers via the Internet huh?
blaaaaakely 0
thanks :)
inuyashagirl 0
shut up blaaaakey! ur not even cute
sparkman97 7
164 jealousy woes much? Nobody will really get that but oh well.
WhitneyRuinous 6
Oh stfu, my grandmother has shown more cleavage.
rockey44 16
I bet you do ****
iamghostbad 0
YDI for showin off!
EV34 6
I agree lol
479 0
reminds me of a commedy show lol
inuyashagirl 0
holy **** ur picture is scary
thikimo 0
it's hilarious I love mr. bean :3
jeromeco32 0
that doesn't suck... that's just funny
DntLookBack 29
She wasn't showing off. She was the CPR instructor. To teach them she had to show them.
transam87 0
that's what she said
gokumania123 0
that's what I said. idiot.
ilysweetcupcake 1
MLIA :)
Ancients 8
Screw mlia, if you like it so much, go there and stay away from here.
AlcaSMT 0
By "you", your coworker was referring to the baby dummy.
purplehaze980 0
**** THAT SHIT, ******* SHOOT THAT ******.
dman4412 0
yeah this is more of a "haha have to be there" kind of funny. not an fml.
jdub28 0
still OP felt embarrassed, so it could be an FML.
DonDivaT 0
lmaooo