Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to what I thought was my friend’s house for a barbecue. I walked into the backyard and started chatting with people I didn't recognize. After about 20 minutes, I realized I was at the wrong house, eating a stranger's food. FML
Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML
Today, I walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment, dropped my backpack on the couch, and started complaining about work. A complete stranger then walked out of the kitchen holding a sandwich, saw me, then yelled "HELP!" I apologized, grabbed my bag, and somehow took his TV remote with me. FML
Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML
Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML
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Top comments
chemchic 7
Are you Goldilocks?
ImmaB3AST 7
Well, that's why you don't go into a house you aren't sure about. Then eat their food right away? That's just disrespectful. You deserve it.
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Comments (142)
ydi_4_suking 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
even if you think you know the people you just don't simply walk in and help yourself
ScaughtieHolden 11
I would go in the house, I wouldn't eat the food though. My friend's parents always tell me I don't have to knock.
dressedskeleton 10
Hahaha greatest confrontation scene.. OP: heey- wait. Who the hell are you? Home owner(s): The ****.. Who the hell are YOU??
ScaughtieHolden 11
"...and why are you eating our porridge?! Gtfo Goldilocks!"
IAmAGinger 7
13- that's fine, my friends parents' tell me that, too. But where the OP hadn't seen this particular friend in ages, it seems that they're obviously not particularly close. Therefore, OP shouldn't have walked in, and DEFINITELY should not have helped themselves to food.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
...and that's how people get shot, OP.
missalkali 8
29- doesn't mean they're not close, it means they haven't seen each other in ages. I have friends I haven't seen in ages that I'm very close to, it's just not practical for us to visit each other because of the distance.
TREEBISCUIT 3
It's also in the country. Even further than that it is in Australia. It could be a lot different there than in the city or suburbs where we lock everything and trust nobody.
foreverhurt 6
Sounds a lot like Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
thawny_fml 21
1- Clearly you're not Australian. Yes we do.
padlarf 14
@62: So this normal behaviour in (rural) Australia? Provided you don't do it to some stranger?
shadexilmaendu 4
It really depends on their relationship with said friend. I know people who will get offended when I ask for things and insist this I help myself. Still, that had to be a hard one to explain to the family that walked in...
the_blind_wonder 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's awful! I would have been so in barest!
journeytotheend 16
I would at my buddies house. But I'm 100% sure of where he lives and I've know him for nearly 20 years now
jesustitts 20
81-embarrassed*
sighawkward 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Only in America!
BabySparkle1 15
94- It says Australia.
KeyboardWarrior 10
In barest, now THAT'S a first.
102Percent 5
I imagine this family to be Mexican... No racism intended.
itsharkley 8
Pussy boobies? :megusta:
indigohippopo 20
It could have been one of OP's best friends and they could have been really close still despite not seeing each other for a long time. Especially if OP's friend was expecting OP then I don't see how it's strange for OP to walk in and help his or her self .. wouldn't you let your friend do that if they were coming over??
ImmaB3AST 7
Well, that's why you don't go into a house you aren't sure about. Then eat their food right away? That's just disrespectful. You deserve it.
onlychildFTW 34
You shouldn't even do that if they are your best friends and you are sure. I wouldn't want my friends coming in and if I wasn't there just eating my food. YDI OP. You just don't do that.
ArielTheMermaid 17
That's embarrassing. o.O although you shouldn't go into a house if no one is home. But I feel bad for you anyway, OP
nature_girl_08 14
51: i'm with you. i've been best friends with mine for about 15 years now, and if visited when he wasn't home, i ALWAYS asked his mom if it was alright if i had a snack. if no one was home, i would have sent him and/or his mom a text and waited outside on the porch, even though i knew their door was unlocked. YDI, OP. probably should have at least made sure you had teh right house before you walked in and helped yourself :/
DespairFaction 11
This reminds me of a story about done bears and a girl with gold locks.
Bekeliyr 10
Not everyones relation is the same... Different norms applies to different environments and the relation itself.
steak87 1
It's outback Oz. Believe it or not, there actually are places in the world that you don't get shot or stabbed on site for not being recognized. It's an old mate that lives out in the country, therefore there aren't that many houses/ properties around. Would be easy to get dis-oriented. If he thought for sure it was his mates' places, then sure thing eat their food lol.
mal2012 4
U didnt think to call n let ur friend know u were on ur way? Or that u were there?.... Well i hope the other fam was understanding.
mal2012 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why is this thumbed down?!?!?
DracoSpirita 21
25 - I really wish I could thumb you up. xD
mal2012 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
0_o you all dont text like that...?
elletex 8
No. No, we do not.
llamafish 25
Nonsense Alan, my dog writes FAR better than that.
jjames7543 13
42: I don't know how you could. I'm also on my iPod and I can't vote on the mod (even though I desperately want to give Alan a thumbs up).
chellyX92 8
Even with the grammar of a tooth pick I'm thumbing you down because OP went to the wrong house. Even if they did call and say they where on their way, doesn't matter because they went to the WRONG house. (not sure if I used the right "where" or "their")
jjames7543 13
68: "were" not "where"
Ren_Uchiha 11
32- what the hell? Nobody I know texts like that, and if they did, I'd never text them again. Also, this isn't even texting, so im not sure why you put that.
ManInTheMachine 20
42-I call bullshit on you, sir. Unless you have some crazy variation of the iPod app, you can't thumb the mods up or down.
coughyochick 7
Let me guess. Teenage girl?
zombiejombie 0
Since I was 11 I have been texting properly because it pisses me off when someone sends a text like this: H3y W@z UP MAn? Plus, it just looks plain stupid.
onlychildFTW 34
I can't stand text talk. Especially since almost everyone has a smart phone, with a full keyboard. It made more sense to txt lik dis wen fones didn't have full keyboards. But now there is no need to do that. I don't text me friends back if they use text talk to me.
T1A2Z3 35
Text talk as in BRB or GTG or WUA make sense because they save time and are easy to understand. Otherwise talk like a person
sux4u121 10
Alan, as a granmar freak and a hater of stupidity, you are my hero.
williamcarter93 13
I'd have laughed, if it was my house. Once I was assured you were hungry and not dangerous, of course. I'd have even let you keep the food you took.
Keliosan 6
It's nice to see someone taking this lightly. Everyone else is ready to crucify the guy for making a mistake.
llamafish 25
I don't really think many people would be willing to take the food from OP after it's been digested...
Keliosan 6
I would assume he was still eating and 4 meant the food he hadn't finished yet.
angeluv_2014 22
Same here! XD And you know it'd make a great story!
chemchic 7
Are you Goldilocks?
KiddNYC1O 22
Winner.
kayellegee30 0
LOL that was my first thought too!
mbusey 20
Why would you do that? Common sense is disappearing faster and faster these days.
angeluv_2014 22
... He obviously thought it was his friends house... that's why he thought it was okay. Did you even read the FML?? Haven't you ever accidentally tried to get into the wrong car? Accidentally walked into the men's room? This is pretty much an accident along those lines... only far more embarrassing; I'd have to say.
smb12346 17
National Lampoon's European Vacation
siberianhamster 17
In Australia.
straculius 9
Except that's not at all how anything happens in that movie.
smb12346 17
It's just as funny
spikedrummer49 6
Ever heard of a calling if their not answering?
OhDearBetrayal 25
**they're. If only people had basic grammar education, the world wouldn't have any Grammar Nazis.
Keliosan 6
Yeah, it would, but they would be called something else...assholes maybe?
laden_swallow09 35
15's right, y'know. ;)
b0ngs 7
they're***
emoshadow47 9
You are amazing
flutter4 7
Amazing at what?
Aug1508 9
That's just plain rude. You deserve it for not being respectful