Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
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Top comments
failblorg 0
lmaoo you must be extremely annoying
DocBastard 40
So spank him. Done.
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Comments (98)
hnz 13
kids always say the truth and you must have done something irritating that they don't like you
daltreix 3
Maybe he's just jealous that his brother is hanging out with someone more than him, i have a little brother, when he was 5, he was so possesive of me lol, but kids are like that at that age w their siblings
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Kids are always so brutally honest.
MOGCrusader 0
Yeah they are!
NeonButterfliez 2
Don't bug the kid. That always causes problems.
lindsaysue 4
Maybe your friend should teach their 5 year old not to answer the door.. Stranger Danger!
lalalaloveit 0
15- Agreed!
sricious 0
guess you did something wrong;)..
TheTigerRoars 0
This is why most mammals should eat their young. Saves them from the problems that come later on. -Fluffy McTiger
Richisme 0
Next time present yourself with something everyone can enjoy. Like cookies.
The_Earth 0
the human race.. getting more and more disrespectful in their younger years.. boldness also equals ignorance. discipline of the parent is key. it's the magical answer to a nice kid. that is, until, they become a teen.
The_Earth 0
either that or you're the dad of that child and left them and the kid knows everything now.
skorpien 1
Impossible, as the OP is a female. I tend to agree with your first post however. Granted, there's no way of knowing the full (or true) story, but it does seem more common nowadays for children to be so utterly disrespectful and their parents to do nothing about it.
Waffle817 0
truth hurts?
SpaceMannn 0
that kid is gonna grow up to be a great man... or an asshole. could go either way really.