Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
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Top comments
failblorg 0
lmaoo you must be extremely annoying
DocBastard 40
So spank him. Done.
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Comments (98)
Stunsz 0
**** the kid no respect your friend needs to teach her son manners
skyeyez9 25
Alot of kids are rotten *****. Why their parents let them get away with that behavior is ridiculous. My kid will be 7 in a few days and I taught her manners. You do a disservice teaching them that being a rude and selfish twit is ok.
Mami_Gaby18 0
maybe he is just jealous or his mom sent him to do that to make you go away =D
juicydez 0
I'm fascinated at how rude some children are. I have 5 brothers and sisters below the age of 8 and none of them have ever said anything like that.
stewpididiot 11
you should have kicked the little ****** in the nutz.... JK JK..I joke..I joke seriously, he was either imitating his mom or some stupid cartoon character like SpongeBob... some cartoons these daze are turning kids into morons. I fear for this generation...
blahzz 4
You just got pwned by a 5 year old.
hiphop_danca94 2
dissed and dismissed:)
ImaginaryFoe 1
I fully loathe it when kids answer the door or the phone. Just because you think your little darlings' conversational gaffs are cute doesn't mean you have to subject your friends to them.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Agreed, and I especially hate answering machine/voicemail greetings left by children mumbling, laughing, singing or screaming into the phone. -.- I never know if the kid picked up or if it's recorded, so I tend to do this thing: [incoherent child's voice] "... Hello? Are you there? [long pause] Hey, is your mommy hom-- *BEEP* Aww shit, it's a message. Now I look like a ****** moro--" *click*. Of course, all they hear is my frustrated swearing while I'm trying to figure out the delete and rerecord code, which is inevitably followed by me accidentally hanging up instead. Then I'm too embarrassed to call back. I'm pretty sure all of my long-distance friends with offspring think I'm perpetually drunk. =
ImaginaryFoe 1
Aren't you, IrishJane, aren't you? ;P It's just not all that cute outside the family circle and even if it is cute (as in the case of my delightful brood), it's ill-timed. I don't call or visit unless I have to say something and I don't want to have to deal with your kid first making sing-songy small talk.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Hey, it's medicinal! I have glawwcomma! Glug-comma? Glug-coma? ... Zzz..
monkee7798 0
I'm Sorry, But thats hilarous! Poor You! FYL.(:
hcovballer247 0
I probably wouldve done the same if I was that little kid.