Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
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Top comments
failblorg 0
lmaoo you must be extremely annoying
DocBastard 40
So spank him. Done.
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Comments (98)
mintcar 10
Why is a 5 year old answering the door?
lindsaysue 4
That's what I'm wondering!
Richisme 0
Because someone was at the door.
mintcar 10
5 year old being the keyword.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
once my little sister learned how the whole doorbell rings-go get the door thing she ran to the front door , but with someone with her=)
Loviinqx3 0
Brat much? lolol.
BadKitty13 28
BRAT !!! I HATE KIDS, I WILL NEVER HAVE KIDS AND I DONT HANG WITH PEOPLE THAT HAVE KIDS !! PROBLEM SOLVED.
Mclovin_95 0
chill..haha wat did kids ever do to you?
sourgirl101 29
I really don't like other people's kids either. Only my own. lol
BadKitty13 28
they are just annoying.
jocelyng_fml 0
maybe it's just you and not the kids 0.o
SaintE_fml 0
when I saw this post I said to myself "great it's YOU!"
jaro_fml 0
piss off. ahahha
Hoplaka 0
Awww... That just means he love you! <3 ;]
Fortuitous 0
You were about to experience a real-life **** movie with your "friend," but then, the kid reminded you that **** movies are not real.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
no offence OP but AHAHAHAHA ! im sorry but maybe you should invite people to your house next time .
mike3775 39
I get that all the time from my own kids, its nothing. Of course if you going to be a stepmom, watch out
swimmerstud 7
awww he's adorable :)