Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My best friend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That kid needs to watch more Sesame Street and less Family Guy.
Emma1562 35
At least you're not a guy...
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Comments (63)
Emma1562 35
At least you're not a guy...
JMichael 26
what if OP...is? ?
bwup 15
How dare you assume their gender and the gender of the icon they picked out?!?!
feven 32
Yeah come on! It's 2016. The female gender icon obviously represents something else.
childproofpizza 19
I sexually identify as a 1997 ford taurus
X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa 9
I have a 97 Mercury tracer, basically the cheap and no-bells and whistles version
mattrd_fml 31
get a breast reduction?
fakedsincerity 32
Yeah, change your body and have a potentially dangerous and expensive surgery over the word of a five year old kids. What.
Thegoofygoober 15
whoah easy there triggered Mcgee #34
fakedsincerity 32
Woah, edgy #48. Chill out.
dihannasaurus 9
are you kidding me?
Jatok 17
Hey, twin peaks are better than a bumpy plain.
DocBastard 40
That kid needs to watch more Sesame Street and less Family Guy.
Nicole_S_ 13
everyone get your glasses out, I'm using the mind eraser
mattyiscool123 26
More like anime
Yapiej 21
Have a laugh about it and see if his mom can change his attitude/reaction towards you :).
wonandonly 11
Do you, by any chance, look like Drake Bell or Josh Peck?
Mowmee 14
Hopefully he didn't know what the word meant or you best friend told him to say that as a joke!
mfmylifesrsly 30
I've worked with children over 10 years. Typically around 4-5 they find out the words for privates parts, and like to talk about it.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
this is where the photo fml would come in handy
ayyylmaoo 6
i like the way u think
Recon13x 9
yes of course...for research
PainInTheAsss 16
It might help if you show less cleavage...
Tripartita 45
Nowhere in this FML is cleavage mentioned, but if somebody does something socially unacceptable in response to cleavage, the onus is not on the person with the bearer of boobs to change behavior. Not to mention, as a somewhat straight man myself, I cannot figure it why on earth people are advocating for LESS cleavage! Surely we want MORE!
DanielleinDC 34
It would help if the little brat's parents taught him to be respectful of others.
crudeandrudeguy 29
I have a 5 yr old, if mine said that I would laugh like hell because he doesn't think in sexual terms. I'd definetly talk to him about why we don't say things like that but children that age seldom mean things the way we interpret them.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Yes, because you can only tell someone has boobs if they have a low cut top.
Elgrin 15
Was he wrong though?