Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML
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Top comments
fallencastiel 22
Maybe next time you can tell her you want a bite because you're hungry?
rieebee 23
Next time, just ask for a taste.
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Comments (188)
ahippienamedrae 10
Allow me to give you a life lesson; NEVER ask a woman that. It usually doesn't end well.
kingdomgirl94 29
I feel like OP probably worded it as something similar to "Are you going to eat all of that?" which does seem slightly insulting.
pptm 13
a man never understand woman
cakefete2 31
Women don't understand women. Ladies are just too complex.
Feldgrep 8
Lemme give you another life lesson: just don't talk to women about food. Ever. Under any circumstances. Whatsoever. No buts. Nope. None. Never.
laden_swallow09 35
No, 37. Women understand women, and they hate each other. That's one reason why men don't usually bother trying to understand women. Can't remember the comedian who said it for the life of me.
Sarahm93 13
Someone is a drama queen :|
Cynical_1 26
Well at least you got the steak. I mean...it would be a crime to waste it right?
abc_1_2_3 12
This is why I can't stand girls, and I am one -_-
ELoni_fml 25
I am with you..
1two3four5six 23
just because one girl is a bitch, all girls are bitches?
Queenie2014 11
Putting down your own gender is not cool
stargirl_95 24
So let me guess, you're a special snowflake who is sooo different from every other girl out there right?
smokecloud_ 37
I'm no different from most other girls, and that is exactly why I don't like most other females. I'm all the obnoxious girl hormones I can take.
Brandi_Faith 34
I personally have always gotten along better with guys too. I have 2 older brothers and couldn't handle some of the drama girls made. Guys are just easier to understand and get along with.
JazNim17 18
Brandi Faith, I agree. I have a brother, and I get along well with him. Except for a few exceptions (my best friend is female) most of my friends are male. It just works better for me that way.
abc_1_2_3 12
No I don't consider myself a "special snowflake", there are times when I can't even stand myself. But I grew up completely surrounded by guys, 3 brothers and my father, and a whole bunch of guy cousins. Plus, I've always been better friends with boys even at a really young age, soo....
abc_1_2_3 12
Besides, almost every girl I know is a bitch, ****, backstabber, etc. I only know 1 or 2 who aren't...
DrownedMyFish 18
"May I have a piece of your steak?" Just come out and say it next time instead of beating around the bush.
badmandilon 19
Yeah, this idea always come after the drama, but I don't think men can always guess what will be misinterpreted. It's safer for a girl to understand that we men mean exactly what we say, we are not trying to say something different, if we do, we will say it.
Brandi_Faith 34
In my opinion he wasn't beating around the bush, he was being polite and asking her if she was going to finish it, in which case if she replied yes he wouldn't have asked for any.
ELoni_fml 25
How could he have suspected she'd react like thát?!
Migole 36
Are you sure you want a woman this insecure? :/ She assumes things without asking you to specify yourself, throws food at you (which could destroy some fabrics, especially "nice outfits") and basically destroys your whole evening because you asked a simple question? I don't think I'd want a partner like this.
mimi_ivana 13
she's probably self-conscious of her weight already. just explain to her calmly that that's not what you meant.
Bloink 25
i feel like ive seen another fml almost exactly the same
BeepBeepSwerve 9
"Talk to her calmly" I don't think so... that was very rude of her,tell her that wasn't acceptable at all.
MandyT 16
Next time just ask her if she would let you have a bite
badmandilon 19
In my case it wouldn't be a next time. Being that violent for something SHE assumed is simply not acceptable.