Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML
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Top comments
fallencastiel 22
Maybe next time you can tell her you want a bite because you're hungry?
rieebee 23
Next time, just ask for a taste.
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Comments (188)
nardledangers 5
id prefer the steak
soulreaper12296 28
Then tell her that
Hackzorer 8
You should have either a) Chosen a less sensitive chick or b) told her "are you able to finish all that?"
CuteFangirl 5
That sucks for you
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I hate it how some girls make us look like we are all insecure lunatics when it comes to our weight and food. If you think you're fat and are unhappy about it, then do something about it. If someone hints that you're fat, take it like an adult and either respond that you disagree / don't care or admit that it is true and decide if you want to do something about it.
Vegetarian27 24
That's the universal code for "slow down, Piggy."
AloneforEternity 3
Best of Luck Dude
Awnonymous 4
Well she sounds like a dumb bitch anyway. Good on you. Next time don't stick your dick in crazy/potentially fat.
ZorroRooster 19
You want a bite of steak? ******* ask for a bite of steak.
ooft 8
On the bright side, you now have the food to yourself