Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized the only way for me to actually socialize is to smoke a joint. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, I realised that the only friend who talks to me consistently is a guy who used to stalk me. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, after months of trying to convince my violent bipolar antisocial neighbors to crack a window when they smoke pot, I'm now living without any heat to avoid being blasted by pot smoke from the heat vents day and night. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I smell an opportunity to light a new friendship with this guy, OP! I bet he'll take your breath away :)
alainopotato 20
Don't worry everyone feels this way sometimes. For me, the only constant is a really enthusiastic sign spinner that I pass on my drive home. Chin up! It will get better :)
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Comments (26)
crudeandrudeguy 29
Most people suck anyways, but having literally no one might suck worse. Hope it gets better for you
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I smell an opportunity to light a new friendship with this guy, OP! I bet he'll take your breath away :)
gamermonster 34
Those puns though
alainopotato 20
Don't worry everyone feels this way sometimes. For me, the only constant is a really enthusiastic sign spinner that I pass on my drive home. Chin up! It will get better :)
fuckpotato 12
HELLO POTATO BRETHREN
Dave_Davington 34
I guess you could say that your social life is up in smoke right now.
matdun101 19
It's time to take up smoking
Mama4ddk 15
I'm sorry that you feel this is true, I'm hoping that you are just having a down day. I went through a period where I felt the same way, I eventually managed to pull myself out of it by joining the walking cluba few women started in our town and the book club at the library. I know I sound incredibly boring and I'm sure some people would prefer the smoker outside your building, but those are just examples of different things you could try to maybe change things. You could even try starting some group or club of your own and posting it on some area sites or boards. Good luck I wish you the best.
fuckpotato 12
Aw, this was very sweet and helpful of you. :) You are a good person.
goodread2200 10
Only you can change that. Don't expect a miracle on day one but the more you try the better it gets.
Magnoxidans 19
Good excuse to make a new friend!
htownpostman 16
Probably always constant really
Goblin182 27
I have plenty of "constant people" in my life. It's not as great as you think.
sweetpotato301 7
It can be though...