Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Nature finds a way
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Nature isn't healing
Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML
Cool moves
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
The climate is whack
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML
High times
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Ideal first date
Today, I went on a date where the guy got drunk off 11 White Claws, I got 18 ant bites (yes, I counted), stung by a yellow jacket, and lost both pairs of our shoes. He told me he was going to a strip club after, messed up my name 3 times and didn’t pay for anything. FML
Top comments
dudeutookhrs 24
Did you do the ants in your pants dance?
aggiegirl95 7
Maybe they just thought you were something sweet! :)
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Comments (42)
jitterbug1503 12
It happened to me once, not very fun fyl op.
jitterbug1503 12
Except it was my head down
Fmlreadermostly 20
That's how we all learn what ant piles look like and play how to avoid the soft built up mounds in the ground! Best of luck next time, OP!
davo_ib_local 14
Uh...they're just ****** ANTS....
candaz1 9
When I was 5 I was covered in Texas fire ants. I was also the size of a normal 3 year old. Even being submerged in water didn't kill them.