Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
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Top comments
Crash92 0
YDI it for not checking, especially in a public place. Bahaha
ilovecowboys 0
Seriously.. a hot woman is not going to grab your ass on the train okay.
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Comments (100)
gonzolove 0
K I'll clarify for you because I'm sure you won't get it, since you didn't get it the first time. Who I was responding to thinks that the woman was molested by the OP. I was saying that that statement was ridiculous and that the OP didn't touch her in an abusive or sexually gratifying way. I didn't mistype. You misread or misunderstood or you're just dumb.
drybamboo 0
People here are always so uptight... I lol at your rage on the internet.
gonzolove 0
Good. I laugh too. Not to mention I'm drunk. So it's all the more entertaining. =]
DameGreyWulf 1
"Molestation is the sexual exploitation of a child or a woman by an adult for sexual gratification or for profit." is what your post said. I was just taking that out of context, pointing out that it's technically incorrect. Don't get so god damn pissy, especially when I agreed with what the point you were trying to make.
gonzolove 0
As for you, I'm not pissy. You attacked me for something I didn't say. I corrected you. Who's the pissy one? Goodnight sir. I'm going to bed.
TheElfThatLied 0
lol @ lemonparty. That scarred me for life.
DameGreyWulf 1
Wha...? You DID say that. Look at your own post again, please. You cited a site and its definition of molestation, which was an incorrect one. I pointed that out. Chill out.
tehgeorgeh 0
Lol, as if expect a woman to do that. Of course it was an old perve.
boredboisereside_fml 0
Sweet geriactric love
gonzolove 0
I'm done with this. Apparently your brain is mush considering I need to explain everything to you. So I'm not going to. It's a waste of time.