Today, after going on a date with my girlfriend, we ended up having sex at her flat. When she took off her panties, I took a glance and saw poop stains on them. It turned me off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML
Today, our third date went so well, we went straight back to her place, tearing each others clothes off. It was only afterwards I noticed what a shithole her house was. Clothes and mess everywhere, broken furniture, overflowing cat litter boxes. I could even smell her unwashed bedsheets on my skin. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Problem was the literal shitstain. If you can’t wipe your ass properly enough not to have streaks of shit in your underwear, you probably can’t clean yourself properly in general. As a real life girl, I can assure you seeing that shit is ******* gross, and it would turn me off too. I take *****, too, and I know how to wipe my ass.
TwoBytesCarley 27
Just a thought but, are you sure they’re shit stains? Old menstrual blood can look dark brown as well. I’m not saying that’s a whole lot better however it can be a lot more understandable given that periods can sometimes start with a surprise and it’s much harder to get the blood out once it’s baked in.
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Comments (9)
Jon Tessler 14
newsflash for ya......girls poop, just like guys do. if normal bodily functions on underwear turn you off, you are in for a long life of loneliness.
Marcella1016 32
Problem was the literal shitstain. If you can’t wipe your ass properly enough not to have streaks of shit in your underwear, you probably can’t clean yourself properly in general. As a real life girl, I can assure you seeing that shit is ******* gross, and it would turn me off too. I take *****, too, and I know how to wipe my ass.
Jon Tessler 14
even if you correctly wipe, you sometimes wind up with a "poop stain" due to sweating. heck my fiancee has underwear with stains on them from both poop and vaginally discharges that naturally occur. I do the laundry for us(I am very OCD about how clothes get folded). stains happen, learn to be an adult about them.
cuz803 46
Nobody wants to have sex with someone carrying poop stains...
Jon Tessler 14
I hate to say it, but everyone "carries" poop. its a natural occurring process that goes on in your large intestine.
Ambrily 27
Girls poop, but they should also wipe properly. If it's a one-time accident, it's one thing (but still off putting), but if it happens all the time, that person lacks a skill that we all should learn before preschool.
Jon Tessler 14
it also may not be poop, but rather an old menstrual blood stain. don't assume something
bleachedraven 14
Ambrily has it right
Chazzster 32
It depends on if this is a frequent occurrence or a rare occurrence. Anyone can have a rare “accident”. It’s understandably off-putting, but if it’s not often occurring then let it slide. On the other hand, if it’s a common occurrence girlfriend has a problem. She’s either got an incontinence problem she can’t help (relatively rare in young people) or she’s careless in her sanitation habits. I wouldn’t say anything if it’s just a one time problem. If it is a reoccurring problem, you owe it to girlfriend to bring it up in as diplomatic way as possible.
Jon Tessler 14
this is where communication comes in, but if a stain turns the OP off, it's obvious he doesn't talk to his GF.
Ambrily 27
Excuse me, are you the girlfriend in disguise? 😂
TwoBytesCarley 27
Just a thought but, are you sure they’re shit stains? Old menstrual blood can look dark brown as well. I’m not saying that’s a whole lot better however it can be a lot more understandable given that periods can sometimes start with a surprise and it’s much harder to get the blood out once it’s baked in.
core01 30
Right?!? If i had a dollar for every pair of underwear ive ruined from surprise starts to unexpected overages. And with how poorly men are educated on biological functions of women, it wouldn't shock me if this dude saw an old blood stain and assumed shit stain.
Suaria 38
That's honestly what I assumed that he probably mistaken an old blood stain from a shit stain.
Stheno 14
exactly what I was going to say.
Regis Bent 12
Wait till you try anal and see your dick covered in poop.
bethrh 49
At least shit stains don't turn you on I guess
bleachedraven 14
I'd be turned off too. Probably the intention she had...I guess gee thanks
mcsmee 8
You say "we ended up having sex", so it must not have turned you off completely.
meisiemeisie 8
Aside from the 'old period stain' theory, OP should know that it's very common & normal for women to have discharge in various shades of brown in the days before and after their periods. Far more plausible theory than her not knowing how to wipe properly, especially since OP admits they only took a 'glance'
hdisnfjs91 21
So it turned you off but you still had sex?
Tyson Eric Mitchell Jr._1425495695 1
"Gots to see it through my boy"