Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
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Top comments
Crash92 0
YDI it for not checking, especially in a public place. Bahaha
ilovecowboys 0
Seriously.. a hot woman is not going to grab your ass on the train okay.
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Comments (100)
ItsAlexFool 0
...Ruin the moment? What moment?
Htownmichigan 0
Ireply with lyrics that was amazing!!!!!!! And total fail on the OP's part!!!
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Thank you Htown! I almost didnt notice you all the way down here :P
drybamboo 0
I also read it as the OP trying to get closer to the woman as opposed to other people. It could be seen as molesting, in a passive way. So I guess it's karma that he, in turn, got molested too. Also, lemonparty.
plexico 4
Maybe the old man was trying to grab the very good looking woman's ass, and got your smelly keester instead. So, if you derive pleasure from having your ass grabbed by an old man as much as if a very good looking woman had done the same, have you considered changing teams? Generations?
gonzolove 0
#34: Molestation? Are you kidding? Definition according to www.molestation.in :Molestation is the sexual exploitation of a child or a woman by an adult for sexual gratification or for profit. Have you ever been on an overcrowded train? You rub and push against people whether you want to or not. You push in close to other people on the train so you can squeeze other people on. It's called being considerate. Don't just throw out shocking words to try to make a point. It makes you look dumb.
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for thinking that Clay Aiken touched your ass.
v1knownaz_chris 0
good job you looked who was grabing your backside before you said something to the woman xD
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh yeah, guys can't be molested ever. That's as outdated as the definition of rape being the insertion of a penis into the ****** of a woman who is not married to said man with penis. OR as ignorant as the idea that men can't be victims of abuse in bad marriages. Not saying I think you're completely wrong, but that was a pretty crappy citation. I hope you just mistyped or something and don't seriously think only women and children can be molested. That being said, I see where people are coming from in that they think the OP intentionally squeezed against the woman, but I think that can more be attributed to the fact you only get 300 characters. Probably, he had to dumb it down, which accidently made it slightly imply a different intention than he meant. "I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman [...]" does sort of sound like he did it on purpose, but I'm sure he meant to imply that he wound up next to a good-looking woman, but he couldn't make it fit.
empire_madman 0
Remember, nothing so good every happens in life...
gonzolove 0
Wasn't saying that guys can't be molested. Sorry, I don't think old world. Maybe if you read the person's post I was responding to, and then read my post you would understand what I was saying. But cool, flip out. Whatev.