Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
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Top comments
sturschaedel 27
Which is when you walk over to him and say with a sardonic smile "Well, it's too early to take the test yet, we'll have to wait another week until we know for sure, daddy", and wait how HE looks after a week of stress eating.
toastbrot 9
don't worry OP. it will be all worth it if you pass all your exams.
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Comments (66)
toastbrot 9
don't worry OP. it will be all worth it if you pass all your exams.
KhaleesiDannie 26
What an horses ass I'm sorry OP stress eating can be a real problem
higgysaurus 18
Just for future reference "an" is generally used before words starting with a vowel like "an apple" while "a" is used before words beginning with a consonant like "a person" :)
puppie406 23
Perhaps op of the comment doesn't speak English as their first language. Don't be an ass.
Bibblejomin 18
Says she lives in the US though.
Railroader 16
#48 living in the US doesn't mean she would be able to speak perfectly, since she could be originally from another country. Anyways who cares about grammar on the internet. Correcting people over it seems like a waste of time to me.
DoomedGemini 38
If you are talking to 33, I don't see how they are being an ass. If someone doesn't speak English as their first language, wouldn't they prefer being politely corrected rather than not knowing and obliviously going on to continue the mistake?
queencabello 19
This is why I hate this app the people who use it think it's English class.
Arestian 14
53 there is nothing wrong with correcting someones grammar it is better to teach them to become better its not a bad thing, if you make fun of them for it, then thats when uve crossed the line with it
queencabello 19
I get that but it's still annoying I see that in the comments of every fml and then they thumbs you down for it. I really don't understand why they care so much
KhaleesiDannie 26
Who knew people cared this much about a typo? haha
sturschaedel 27
Which is when you walk over to him and say with a sardonic smile "Well, it's too early to take the test yet, we'll have to wait another week until we know for sure, daddy", and wait how HE looks after a week of stress eating.
tomvertigo 17
Hello, Satan.
OSMC 10
you worry me.
derangedplanet 23
welp! there goes his finals down the drain. kid won't sleep for days.
A1NoSauce 17
Two wrongs don't make a right. Though I'd assume nobody ever taught you that.
Railroader 16
2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left.
derangedplanet 23
2 wrongs don't make a right, but it's sure in the hell more satisfying to watch someone else suffer with you.
HowlingFire 21
He sounds like a very loving and caring person... /sarcasm
amileah13 26
Whoa shit! First of all, if you are pregnant congrats! Second of all, just because someone is heavier than normal doesn't mean that they're pregnant (me just trying to telepathically tell your boyfriend that). Hopefully everything turns out all right for you op!
Kiernan151 25
The whole point of this fml is that op isn't pregnant...
RabbitOfAurora 28
I dontl't know why you're being down voted so heavily #5 because plot twist: Accidents happen and OP might actually be pregnant (unlikely, but still possible) because there are a surprising number of women who don't know they're pregnant until they're giving birth and put weight gain/missed periods etc onto things like stress. And I get that OP's boyfriend was probably just mucking around when he said that, but it might also genuinly look like that to him which would prompt me to take a pregnancy test for peace of mind if nothing else.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Whoa, That's ****** up!
Whydoyouask 11
Whoa!
ThrottleJockey 36
Keanu Reeves, is that you?
Rainbow_Rhinos 23
Should've turned around and said, "Well, your /parent's/ condom broke!" before sashaying out of the room.
bwinski 19
Food babies are the best kind of babies though... Good luck on your finals!
jen1097 25
Shoulda said "yeah well it's not yours" and see how he felt then ?
Whydoyouask 11
She probs would've felt boyfriend-less... Which I'm taking she wouldn't consider as a good thing
jen1097 25
Dang stop hatin ? ahhahaha
jen1097 25
Love my fans
Mons_fml 27
I am just loving jen1097's awkward response to getting thumbed down.
jen1097 25
I make myself laugh bahahahaha
CrassKal 27
Wait, so was it intentionally mean? Or did he actually think you might be pregnant?