Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML
Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML
Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML
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Top comments
megapeyt 17
You totally deserved it if you actually thought that would work.
unknown_user5566 27
You deserve it. Should've just told him you weren't into him, and asked to part ways.
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Comments (133)
megapeyt 17
You totally deserved it if you actually thought that would work.
ColdplaySucks 18
I wonder what got into the mind of OP to think that.
GypsyRover 0
Lmao! He was probably trying to get rid of you,but you didn't catch on.
Dylan94_fml 8
Is anyone else waiting for another post: "Today, I went on a blind date with a girl. I wasn't that into her so I tried to act really clingy and even told her she reminded me of my mother to put her off liking me. She responded by refusing to speak in anything but a robot voice . FML"
NeDaroft 5
He's a lucky guy, I heard robot hand jobs are great.
MrCatman1125 2
No, what she should have done instead of talking in a robot voice is only talk in 3rd person.
godisnowhere41 5
well she's in Japan so she's surrounded by 'cute robots', yould think she would have thought this through...
angeluv_2014 22
What happened to FML people's sense of humor? This post is hilarious and OP's take on putting a guy off is creative, plus it shows she has balls. And for all you unimaginative losers who thumbed down the hand job comment; Can't you take a joke?! It's FML for gosh sakes! It's supposed to be disturbingly funny.
abyssal_angel 6
Went back and thumbed that post down just because of your inane rant. Thanks for playing.
angeluv_2014 22
Sorry 93... just sharing my opinion. Didn't mean to bring out the immature beast in you
Attica 20
@ 69: That would probably work very well in North America, but speaking in the third person is common in Japan, so that probably wouldn't have raised any red flags over there.
Attica 20
@92: If she really had balls, she'd have just told the truth about how she felt, rather than thinking up a ridiculous, over-the-top way to put him off instead of having the courage to be honest with him. It is funny, though.
MistaKrista 8
So, just making sure I'm getting this straight... OP acted out in public to embarrass this man and potentially scare him away all because she wasn't having a good date... But this guy STILL thought she was adorable... And she's not into him? THAT'S THE KIND OF GUY YOU SHOULD BE IN TO! What is the problem with women!?! (Pardon my caps.)
unknown_user5566 27
You deserve it. Should've just told him you weren't into him, and asked to part ways.
unknown_user5566 27
Before the angry mob comes along to demolish me, I apologize for the similarity to comment #1.
boating_guy 33
seems to me like there's enough of a difference...don't sweat it :p (or I could be wrong and you will face the unrelenting fury of the FML community's thumbs down...)
unknown_user5566 27
28- Only time will tell. Regardless, you win some, you lose some!
Marcella1016 32
Everyone should equally thumb comment 35 up and down so it stays permanently at 0 thumbs, thereby harmoniously reflecting "winning some" and "losing some"
Marcella1016 32
Comment 2 also currently has the exact number of thumbs up as comment 16 has down. Oh, FML, how I love your reflection of the balance of the universe. Or maybe I'm just a bored geek.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Actually I bet he bought your bluff and decided to play with you a bit :)
unknown_user5566 27
76- I don't understand why you didn't make that your own comment... it has nothing to do with my original comment, which you replied to. Gah. I don't know why, but people who reply instead of create their own comment have been bugging me lately.
olpally 33
Easy kyleekay... It's the Internet... Just ignore it the best you can. People say irrelevant things on here all the time, thumb it down like a boss! :D as for the comment, you're right, she looks like a fool for doing that instead of being honest.
unknown_user5566 27
96- I think I'm pretty laid back... most of the time, anyway. ;) I think I'm projecting my feelings from my clusterfuck work day onto unsuspecting FML Noobs.
doctorhook86 25
97: kyleekay, I can't tell if "I'm pretty laid back ;)" is deliberate innuendo or just accidental self-deprecating humour. Either way: ;)
unknown_user5566 27
Doctor, purely accidental. Although... ;)
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Robot arms and voice? You'd rather look like an idiot instead of, I don't know, telling him you weren't feeling it?
loloalltheway 23
Is his mother retarded or something because the robot reminds him of his mother?...
sissycullen 4
I bet the date was being a nice guy and only saying that to be polite. He was excited to go out with OP, no need to be an ass about it. YDI.
Harpy20 24
Maybe his name was Michael Scott?
greenie213 23
Robot fetish. Whatever floats your boat I guess.
unknown_user5566 27
Whatever floats your boat and fills your throat! Sorry, crude I know, but whenever someone says "floats your boat" that's what comes to mind.
WearingHats 14
Apologizing generally doesn't go over too well on FML.
unknown_user5566 27
100- Oddly enough, I comment what I'm thinking and not what others want to hear. Crazy, right?
WearingHats 14
If you weren't worried about what others thought, you wouldn't be apologizing.
titandesu 14
well it is Japan we're talking about
sux4u121 10
Just say you aren't interested, no need to complicate things. Sometimes I just don't know what goes on in people's minds.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
To anyone around, you probably looked like a complete weirdo.
unknown_user5566 27
"Look, honey! We get dinner AND a show!"
gc327072 31
"Hey everyone look, street performers!" "IT'S NOT WORKING!! AAUUGGHHH!!" /reference/
imavelociraptor 6
That's sound familiar. Where is it from?
gc327072 31
99- it's from Spongebob, the episode where they popped a stolen balloon, but don't realize that it's free balloon day. Afterwards, SB says "Alright Patrick... just act normal..." they then proceed to freak out and run in the street babbling and screaming like mental cases. That's when the reference comes into play. Sadly, it seems line nobody got that. Oh well, there's always another time!
agonydrum 7
That's not true op is from Japan I assume they all act like robots
person961 9
When a seemingly good plan fails
Welshite 40
Should've gone with an alien theme.
BeforeItWasCool 12
Nothing beats the Jenna Marbles face. It'd be a winner for sure!
AriasBaast 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Could've excused urself to the bathroom and texted a friend to call and see me up with a reason why u had to leave. It's not like u wanted to see him again anyway
Soloman212 28
This doesn't ensure that she won't see him again. He might try to set up more dates, since he doesn't know she didn't enjoy it. The best and simplest thing to do is just tell him she isn't enjoying the date.
crazy4uboi 6
That's just rude! People don't even have the guts or the decency to just be upfront with others anymore! as long as your not rude and really nice about it he'll understand I'm sure will he be hurt? Yeah but not as much as he would if you ditched him!
lovernaught66 7
It could have been much worse, he could have joined you in your embarrassing robot antics. You should have just told him you weren't into it.