Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
I was camping and out late riding my bike when something got caught in my spokes and was going round and round. It was dark and I thought it was a stick so I reached down to pull it out and it hissed at me. Needless to say I dismounted faster than the speed of light thus proving Einstein wrong. Shove that in your pipe and smoke it!! E=mcgetthefuckoutofmybikesnake
Kingdutch 3
That'd scare the ---- out of me O.o FYL
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Comments (94)
pboonpume 0
who would know?
The_Great_Zucchi 15
I can see how that is very unpleasant... By the way: You forgot the traditional Aussie storytelling thing where you go on for about 20 minutes about how dangerous the animal was and how you could have died a horrible death but didn't.
Yapanesedidwhat 0
YDI for living in Ausssie. end of discussion.
Ducati45 0
Australia is a great country! Most of our most dangerous snakes and spiders don't live near people and our ecomony isn't failing hard unlike America and the UK.
Dingan 0
the most polluting (per capita) nation in the world, I'd say fml if I was living there :3
otakuzakku 0
yeah, well, America isn't too far behind, and a third of American adults are obese, so I'd say FML if I were living there.
ErikvonDarkmoor 0
per captia is irrelevant for that statistic...
Ducati45 0
I'm hoping it wasn't a brown snake :S Well, You probably deserve it for just picking up a snake without making sure it wasn't real, I mean if I saw a snake, even though it's unlikely it would be inside I'd be cautious anyway, because I'm sure you've encountered snakes before and know the dangers and how to not get bitten!
Vampire_Goddess 0
well u need 2 look a lil bit more dontcha think YDI
LilaBear 2
How the HELL do you live in Australia and not know a real snake when you see one. And how did it not move when you approached it? And seriously, as soon as you TOUCHED it you should have known it was real. Ok, I can almost accept you might not realise it's real upon *seeing* it, but upon touching it? Learn to identify your local snakes. Australia has some of the world's most deadly snakes.
Peroxide 3
That's not a snake, this is a snake! *unzips pants* Oh my, now ive gone too far. Yes I know, i'll go and sit in the corner on the naughty chair. Do I still get some cake later?
Lia_Mackenzie 4
No. No, you don't, Peroxide. That wasn't nearly good enough to warrant cake. =P
wah_face 0
what does living in Australia have anything to do with it? Believe it or not, we actually have cities. Not all of us live in the outback. It's actually very rare that someone living in the metropolitan area would find a snake in their house. However, i do ride a kangaroo to school and i have a pet koala.
d4m4s74 12
Even if you think it's fake, always grab a snake close to the head so it can't bite you. I made that mistake once
redshortsx 0
your sisters name is Ellen?
kile88 2
**** off about Australia. you're just jealous that we don't inhale thick smog everyday
stella2fast 2
how fake did it look? did it look really real and u thot it wuz fake? wat kind of snake wuz it?