Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way, he asked us why we looked so tired. We just said we were tired from moving house. Truth is, our room is right next to theirs. We heard everything. Loud and clear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, after returning from taking my sister off to college, my parents told me that our house would be a lot quieter with my sister gone. Not because she's loud, but because she has friends and I apparently don't. FML
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML
Today, my fiancé and I moved into a new home a few houses away from our previous one. We were excited about not hearing our roommate's dog howling non-stop anymore. We can hear him from the new house. Very clearly. FML
Today, while on the phone with my mum I mentioned that we were thinking of moving and had seen a house we liked. Her response? "Glad you’re leaving that crime-ridden area." The house we’re looking at is two doors away. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
Today, I was feeling too tired because I couldn't sleep last night, due to my mother's snoring. Since I stayed with both my parents and my sister in a small town for a vacation, I requested to sleep in separate rooms because my mother's snoring is disgustingly loud. She refused, and called me a crybaby. FML
Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML
Today, I was taking Zoom classes. We live in a one-bedroom apartment, which means I could hear my mom and dad fighting. I didn't notice that my mic wasn't muted. Everyone in my class now thinks that CPS needs to be called to my house. FML
Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML
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Top comments
fits138 0
Well that's always awkward...
bubblybrooke 12
I'm directly under my parents room. the ceiling shakes. :|
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Comments (64)
watisthis 0
what the?
KumoFF7 3
I was expecting it to end with you and your sister having sex.
luis420 0
lmao 29 I was thinking the dame thing
ciaobella89_fml 0
gross.
fits138 0
Well that's always awkward...
cr4ckb0n3f4n 0
it's pretty hard to make sense of what you've just written. maybe it's because I don't speak English nativly
ValerieVictoria 0
#3 her parents were having loud raunchy sex in the room next to her so she couldnt sleep. and her dad asked her why she was tired, she made up an excuse.
akiranozaki 0
Oh joy. Time to invest in some quality earplugs. And FYL indeed.
jd_superjive 0
Haha oh goodness....are you referring to what i think you are referring?
zays 0
I'm afraid so.
COBRAMORPH 0
join in.
Emmeleia 8
incest, fun for the whole family... FYL but unfortunately its a fact of life it happens to us all once in our lives.
juliaface 0
It wasn't incest! They were saying they heard their parents having sex and couldn't sleep.
rlet 1
I'm sorry for u and ur sis... ask ur daddy 2 take u to walmart for some ear plugs and good luck
kirstyannemiller 4
We dont have walmart in the uk:(
diversgal 9
Or Australia
GDragonsSwag 21
Well there is Asda, which is literally part of the Walmart family
itouchguy360 3
I agree, time to invest in earplugs. If you don't want to tell them the truth, then just say oh the roads are very noisy at night, I could use some earplugs. Remember though, get the reusable kind, not the cheap foam ones! :)
liquidbunny 0
well the only bright spot about being a child of divorce, like I am, is you dont seem to run into that problem. My older brother on the other hand probably heard me being concieved.
arienh4 0
That's all fine, right until your divorced parents find new partners. Then the problem expands exponentially.
blkwhtrbbt 0
HAHA oh poor guy. my then seven yearold sister and I once heard what had the potential to be a third sibling.
usnwife 18
Unless you have to listen to your mom and a vibrator... That's not much better!!