Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
I was camping and out late riding my bike when something got caught in my spokes and was going round and round. It was dark and I thought it was a stick so I reached down to pull it out and it hissed at me. Needless to say I dismounted faster than the speed of light thus proving Einstein wrong. Shove that in your pipe and smoke it!! E=mcgetthefuckoutofmybikesnake
Kingdutch 3
That'd scare the ---- out of me O.o FYL
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Comments (94)
Peroxide 3
**** off you Australia bashing wankers. I Just rode a kangaroo to school in his awesome pouch, then I got a koala to do my homework. Sick to the power of rad assholes! By the way, we have no George Bushes. We do have one Russell Crowe though who will bash the shit out of you if you cut off his acceptance speech.
Mylife_is_so_fd 0
wow it must be fun having to wash off all the mucous of your your clothes and yourself when you get to school it also must be fun going to the hosptal when the kangaroo kicks the shit outta you for trying to fit you r fat ass into a pouch designed for a small kangaroo, also im pretty sure the australian wildlife people are going to be pretty pissed that you are abusisng an endangered species like the koala like that. in short you are not austrailian you are american and are retarded.
myfriend_youfail 3
And you once again fail to recognize that almost everything Peroxide says is meant to be sarcasm or humor. Durrrrr.
Mylife_is_so_fd 0
ya cause everybody spends enough time on here to know how certain people act that so true oh wait most people have a ******* life and dont be a troll on fml coments
pogostick_fml 2
I barely ever read the comments, let alone become familiar with people's approach to comments, and I can still detect the heavy sarcasm in his post. You must be blonde. Did you honestly think he got a KOALA to do his homework?
quarty165 0
um, just because she detected the sarcasm doesn't mean she has to think it's funny. she's right. american ignorance isn't funny.
nzl_fml 0
You do know that Russell Crowe's actually a New Zealander right.
knad 0
Koalas aren't endangered. Actually, they're pest in some areas.
agnijay 0
And what the **** is wrong with George Bush? Do you even know? I bet not...
strata8 0
Whoever said Australia is the most polluting country is wrong. Carbon dioxide =/= pollution.
blastvortex 4
Despite all the strange toys I've seen in the past several years or retail work - including some rather realistic looking snakes, mind you - it's still more than easy to recognize a real snake versus a fake one. FYL for getting suckered, but YDI for being ignorant.
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
You didn't think to get a stick and poke it first?
monkey314159 0
You live in Australia!
xdyingxwishx 0
Exactly! You should definitely know to be careful about those things.
otakuzakku 0
far out, you guys are really ignorant. Just because those particular animals are native to Australia doesn't mean we encounter them heaps. We don't have bears in Australia but we're not stupid enough to think Americans see them all that frequently. I personally, living in Australia all my life, have seen maybe one live snake, and when I did, it was a neighbourhood commotion, an out-of-the-ordinary event. You need to realise that the majority of Australians want to be just like Americans, so Australia is basically America with lots of outback and accents. We don't ever see snakes, ever, so this 'YDI for being Australian' bullshit is just proving the ignorance of the posters. I hope they get mauled by the bears they see so often.
missgreenday 0
Now that's funny.
dadog100 0
Nice. I did that to my maid once, although what she thought was a real snake was actually a plastic one, and it was a dark room, on a bottom drawer. I had to get my other maid to clean my room for a while...
foreverbroke 0
nice. i almost got bit by a snake i assumed was fake, my friends foot was directly above its head and the thing came after me, luckily i was far enough back that it didnt get me when it darted towards me
BunnyDrastic 0
Dumbass
quarty165 0
I thought this very reasonable until I saw that you were from Australia. You don't live someplace where all you have to worry about is gardener snakes. You should be more careful with that sort of thing - be sure it's fake before you touch it!