Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Nice try
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Hypercontrolling
Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Goodbye horses
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
Like in the movies
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Watch out!
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Farm life
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Major romcom vibes
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Top comments
Doortje 30
Apologize and tell him you'd be happy to give him a kiss on the bruise you just gave him.
jiggyjiggz 0
way to make an ass out of yourself
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Comments (133)
cowboyy_fml 0
maybe I can show u how to ride sometime. I have risen my whole life and I am a barrel racer
horsey4u123 0
thts awesome!! I jump horses! I jump them like 3 foot sometimes:)
cowboyy_fml 0
what does "coment moderated" mean?
GotALife 11
#93 meaning what you said didnt fit the rule, they really do check this site. If you keep having those alot in one post they bann you.
clarebluehair13 0
that the comment has been moderated I would imagine.......clue is in the title lol
clarebluehair13 0
bloody American so called English...."horseback riding" what other part of a horse are you going to frickin ride?! retards!
DocBastard 40
Where does it say that OP is American? You assume that based on the phrasing? Fine, then I assume, based on your use of "bloody," that you're an ignorant, xenophobic, asshole Brit with a bad attitude. **** you and your ******* generalisations and assumptions. Next time you want to comment about 300 million people, get your foot out of your ass and put it in your mouth. Maybe it'll shut you up properly. ******* twit.
GotALife 11
#100 "bloody" huh she might be from London or something. Clam it.
macskapingvin 0
"Horseback riding" has been part of the English language since before America was 'discovered'...
Fiend_fml 0
DocBastard, the comment you replied to has once again been buried. People are going to start to wonder about you. Kudos by the way.
clarebluehair13 0
erm........no. English people don't say "horseback riding" we say horse riding, only Americans say it wrong, hence my "assumption". Really though, think about it.... horseback riding does sound really retarded :) thanks for calling me loads of names based on the fact that I chose to say bloody on a public forum rather than display ignorance and low IQ by swearing like a moron.....just think, one day you might even know what some of those big words mean :) mwah
TaylorTotsYumm 10
You didn't have to swear to show your low IQ and ignorance. Really, you shouldn't give a flying **** about how Americans say horse riding. So much rage over a bloody word? Cor blimey! Just chill the **** out and get over yourself, you tosser.
DocBastard 40
Clare, let me get this straight. You're saying that none of the 60 million Brits say "horseback riding" and all 300 million Americans do? What about the other 1.5 billion English speakers in the world? What do they say? Your generalisations and condescension are neither appreciated nor accepted here. I know exactly what I say, so you can keep your fake little attitude. Ignorance and low IQ? That's cute.
varkey 7
@clarebluehair13: Swearing doesn't display low IQ. Your use of the word "bloody" was also unnecessary. By the way, here's your post: "bloody American so called English...."horseback riding" what other part of a horse are you going to frickin ride?! retards!" Big words? The longest word in your post is "horseback." Do you consider "frickin," "retards," and "other" to be "big words?" If so, I am very, very sorry for everyone who has been arguing with you. They've been arguing with a 5-year-old who has just learned how to type. Horseback riding is what it's called in American English. It has always been this way. It may not make total sense, but British idioms often don't either. For example, how is American English "bloody?" Does it have rivulets of blood running down it? No. So shut up.
sexycountrygirl0 0
dumb ass british people and their nasty teeth!
clarebluehair13 0
ahh what fun there is to be had with one minuscule comment about a word that I find a little irritating :) I'm aware that not all idioms make perfect sense but I just happen to find that one interesting as I don't specify that I sit on the seat of a sofa, it's just not necessary. As for those who seem to think I'm "getting worked up about it" I assure you I'm not. I just made one jocular comment in a vernacular that I imagined most people would identify with. As for likening my IQ to that of a five year old, I do find that laughable as I have an IQ over 170 and as a five year old actually was reading Shakespeare and Chaucer my intellect probably allowed me to argue quite well! doc, I could not be less bothered about what the other 1.5 billion English speakers call horse riding or much concerned what the American branch of my family call it tbh, I just feel that the words used by the English (rather than "Brits") makes more sense. I've lived in many countries and have family members of several nationalities so am far from the xenophobe you are portraying me to be, I just think it's rather silly to specify which part of a horse will be sat on! Once again I'm so pleased my post seems to have ticked off so many people and required such a long winded explanation and attracted so much hate......love me or hate me, it's still a form of obsession :) oh and love that someone objected to me saying swearing was not a good thing but then proceeded to lambast me for using the word bloody tee he he. Also, before you all accuse me of being anti-American, my dad is from the states and I've lived there. if someone put poor English such as saying something was "for free" I would also have made a comment about it as it just bothers me when people can't construct a sentence properly, guess it must be my autism getting to me again, trust me, we are often big on rules!
DocBastard 40
Clare, congratulations on your massive IQ. That makes you more intelligent than Bobby Fischer and Stephen Hawking. Boasting about it makes you a braggart. Insulting others' intelligence with an IQ that high is akin to a professional basketball player telling a high school player that he sucks. Congratulations for making yourself look utterly foolish, intelligence aside.
Sirin_fml 47
Please utilise that vast IQ by using some basic punctuation in your comments. Maybe you could split the walls of text into neat paragraphs, even. And pissing people off for fun will technically land you in deep shit, so you could also avoid that. But that's just the way I roll. :$
DocBastard 40
*sigh* There the mods go again deleting a comment to which I replied. I think I'm just going to give up today. Either that or I'll just start posting "LOL U FAIL LOLOLLOLOLOL" all over the place.
clarebluehair13 0
tbh DocB. I think that's all they really want on here *sigh* twas fun sparring with you :) Oh btw Stephen Hawking actually has a score over 200 on the type of test I have been tested with and it was less about boasting and more about addressing other peoples replies, my condition makes it hard for me not to :( like the person moaning bout paragraphs and such, only left them out as I thought the test box via my phone might not allow it. Loving your work Doc :)
sikkar 0
You should have let him do the "horsing", at the comfort of his place.
collegegirl87 0
The FML moderators deleted the comment. :)
OtherSideOfStory 3
Today, I went horseback riding with a girl. She asked me to help her get on the horse. in return, she kicked me. FML
fmlbrooo 0
lmao , :D good one.
GotALife 11
I believed being kick in the chin is worse than the face.
SixteenAndSOL 0
sounds like a start of a romantic comedy :D
tencentsakiss 19
Simple solution: Stop being such a wuss and learn to get on a horse without needing a leg up.