Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
ItzKymra 0
Ydi for being a total ass and cheating. Get a life.
drusilla44 0
wow did you expect sympathy when you posted this as an fml? nobody gives a**holes sympathy. props to the girls that kicked you!
rv0111 3
agreed
ieatvegatarens 0
this really shows how stupid you are first by dating 2 girls and thinking you would get away with it and then posting it on here to get sympathy. you sir are a ******* douche bag that deseverd much more pain :)
lowshadows 21
Well what did you think was gonna happened ha ha! i'm totally laughing at your misery, as cold as that sounds you do deserve it. So what have we learned?
Eternityfalls 0
oh I so wonder why this happened.. maybe yuu shud use your brain dumbass
funnyfiona 0
IDIOT! you are such a Turd! I hope you never cheat again o course they would have found out.
Jman1906 2
Everyone seems to be hating on you for your choice of having two girlfriends at once. My personal take on your life choices would be HURP DERP!! P.S. You don't need to go to the hospital for getting kicked in the balls pussy
noodleboix 10
stop complaining, get off fmylife and learn to be faithful, u cheating bastard u got everything u deserved so don't bitch about it
alyssarenee15 0
i guess thats what happens to assmunchers like you :D feel better! NOT