Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
milly_11 4
u totally desrve that and more ass wipe
tmack9 2
Its all your fault op! YDI to yourself...just stop yourself!
potatopotato 0
I agree with that hot chick
diggs010 5
did you expect sympathy?
YouBetterGit 0
Two words: Douche. Bag.
ThatJamesKid 4
Uhhh guys you are being pretty sexist. I mean if it was a woman that got beat up by two men and got sent to hospital, you would all take a different approach. You wouldnt all be saying " You asshole! You dont deserve the fingers to type this FML with! YDI for being a dick!" Women, have yo ever been kicked in the balls? No I didnt think so. Therefore you dont know the excruciating pain it puts us in. I agree that cheating is pretty much the worst thing that you can do in a relationship, but to get put in the hospital from getting kicked in the balls by two women is just way too far. What if he cant have kids now? I mean thats pretty much the point of life isnt it? Now Im sure this comment is gonna get trolled, but how about you all think before you post yeah?
slipperykricket 0
You're a piece of shit person. Why are you complaining? If anything THEY should be writing an FML. "Today, I found out I was dating a little bitch boy who has weak knees and a ****** instead of a penis and testicles. FML"
theluckygirl28 8
Associating weak knees with having a ******? Kinda sexist.
abieri914 0
Asshole!!! how in the hell could you even think someone would acctually feel BAD for you?!?! You sick bastard!
Megadeth72 0
If I was one of those girls ( im a guy), I would have crushed both of your testicles. YDI for being a douchebag
Bdubwv87 0
Dont you hate when that happens