Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
leon94_fml 8
you should of goten worse in my opponion!
SilverSnowWolf 1
WTf seriously girls? they dont know how bad it is to get hit in the balls and to the point to be taken tot he hospital? i dont see girls in the hospital with some ****** up boob(s) or ****** bc she cheated and "got what she deserved"
metalhead5564 0
Oh? So you find out that the girlfriend that you loved and cared for was cheating on you. You wouldn't do anything about it?
skyhawkvd 0
pimpin ain't easy and your no pimp they should have punched you in the face
cheesecake_36 6
lmfao I laugh cuz ur a dumbass and you should NEVER cheat! cuz Karma is a total bitch honey! lol
AtomicBryce 0
wow r u retarded u should hav seen it coming
gmc_blossom 21
I feel for you OP. When you have two girlfriends or boyfriends, you're supposed to live a happy life and neither of them are supposed to find out. When they do, and they hurt you for it, it totally sucks for you. Maybe them bitches shouldn't have been meddling with your personal business. I mean, you were only their boyfriend, they only trusted you and found out you were cheating on them. I mean, you didn't do anything wrong. They totally overreacted. ... Just kidding. You definitely deserved that one OP. Next time, maybe you'll learn.
parxxx 0
did they kick you in the nuts??
RahRahJanee 6
Too bad it wasn't your penis being chopped off. Arsehole.
oliviap97 3
your an asshole and if you wouldn't cheat on people this kind of shot wouldn't happen and more girls will respect you dumbass
levraea 0
well DUH. think before you do anything selfish, bastard.